My friend, Solitude

There are different kinds of loneliness. 

To me, the worst kind is when we are alone and attached to people and things which are no longer part of the now or beneficial to our health. 

When we are consumed by unrealized fantasies, when we are haunted by idealized memories. 

When we are obsessed with understanding another person's behavior, when we believe we can only be happy with a certain thing or person. 

When we give up control over our feelings, when we surrender responsibility for our happiness. 

When we cling to a past state, when we tell ourselves we are entitled to something or someone. 

When we refuse to accept our present situation and be content in the now. 

I think that the best kind of loneliness happens when we are alone and sovereign. 

When we are emotionally detached from possessive ideas and desires. When our view of reality isn't determined by the pictures others paint for us, when we seek our own truth in spite of what others tell us. 

When we aren't infected by the thoughts of the masses around us. When we don't place expectations on people and situations. 

Solitude is only frightening when we fear being seduced by the dark side, when we are scared to be with ourselves completely for fear of what we might discover. 

It is in solitude that we meet our angels and demons, when we are introduced to the best and worst in us. 

As frightening as this can be, it is also enlightening and creatively inspiring. When we are aware, in conscious seclusion, we learn to distinguish the negative from the positive, the thoughts that encourage our dark side and the ones which inspire compassionate love and healing. 

By spending time alone and observing our thought process we learn our true nature and realize we can be our best ally or worst enemy. 

Solitude is imperative for healing, it allows us to clearly observe recurring thoughts and understand the ideas associated to pain. It helps us distinguish the thoughts that trigger anger, hate, depression, and understand the illusive judgmental thoughts impeding us from experiencing unconditional love for ourself and others. 

I cherish uninterrupted silence and solitude, for it teaches me the best and worst about myself. It gives me the peace I need to be able to hear what my intuition is telling me. It grants me the chance to cultivate enriching thoughts, to flourish creative ideas, and to impair and sever the growth of cancerous poisonous thoughts preying on my well being. 

I am in control of my destiny, but it only takes one deceptive thought, one moment of impulsive ignorance, one surrender to greedy impatience, one moment of misguidance, one unaware action. It only takes giving into anger and self destructiveness once, to shake my state of health, to elude me from reality, and seduce me into the dark side and onto a sick path. And if I falter, if I begin to give in to that which does not serve or compliment my soul, I can always count on solitude and loneliness to help me regain control of my destiny. 

A.M