Monday, February 20, 2017
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
To believe you can be the dream the campaigns are selling, to aspire to be like the marketing illustrations, to attempt to live the beautiful illusion, to turn yourself into
or to accept the beautiful lies as they are and to go on creating beautiful moments in sp ite of the barren garden of deception around you.
To recognize and understand the empty dreams being sold, to create your own dreams, to find a little space inside your heart and begin to cultivate...
to expose your soul to light, to plant seeds of love, to bloom fully from the inside out, to be the peace that's missing in the dreams being sold, to be the love that's lacking in the beautiful lies being told, to be your dream realized, to be authentic, original, blessed, loved, to be as you are and nothing more.
Our physical, emotional and spiritual expressions are inspiring and necessary evolutionary tools.
My talent comes with a side of torment, for it can be difficult to understand or balance so many visual feelings.
To have such an intense memory of events while some do not can be alienating, to remember details others might never see because they weren't "there" in that moment with you can be confusing.
We wonder if we're mad for vividly remembering, for feeling memories, for desiring to express touching details, we question our sanity for fantasizing and dreaming and investing so much into visions.
We wonder because for us these visions, these intense details inspire creation, these visions inspire our thoughts, emotions and decision to share with others.
Many times the muse does not know, see or remember us, sometimes even if they are part of our reality or moments which inspired us they might not remember us, themselves or the experience in the fashion which we have painted them or the experience.
This can be called a "sleeping muse", when the reality of the events are only real to the writer, when the person in subject does not relate to the experience as it is depicted by the artist.
Nonetheless we should still express ourselves, we should still create no matter what our mind is telling us. For example, when our thoughts are saying, "don't be foolish, it's all in your head", "don't express that for it's only real in your mind".
Well, those thoughts could be true and there's nothing wrong with them being true. For these events are taking place in our heads, our mind, and even if these thoughts are delusions they are our thoughts and it is our life that is affected when we hold things in or are too afraid to explore what's going on inside ourselves.
If we are here to grow and evolve then we should attempt to understand what is going on in our mind, this can help us comprehend why we like or dislike whatever it is that we like or dislike. Knowledge of self can help us distinguish underlying causes of negative behavior patterns.
And perhaps this knowledge can even help us experience brilliant moments which we never might have because we had some sort of unresolved trauma blocking our vision of potential enlightening experiences.
Seeing what you're thinking and feeling through artistic expressions such as words, music, pictures, etc., may help your evolvement. It doesn't matter if what you feel is only true or attempting to be real in your reality.
Imagination is phenomenal, it expands our reality. It can also stretch us out, spread us thin in ways that can be difficult to cope with. Some fantasies are so pleasing that it can be hard to let go of, and some people will let go completely and live in fantasies.
This has its ups and downs, but who is to say what is right or wrong. If someone wants to believe they are a cat and live as such who am I to say "hey, you're wasting your life by not living as a man as well", for what is it to live as man anyway.
But I have come to understand that for me to remain in and invest thoughts and feelings in certain fantasies can be emotionally exasperating. It's nice to want physical things and work towards them or to love and adore someone, but to consume yourself with achieving certain materials or to breathe someone in and out all day long is consuming to other parts of ourselves that also need expression.
Some do encourage us to dream and imagine all possibilities, to explore every feeling, to know ourselves completely and exceed limits placed on our minds by our own self. But to entertain, expand and share thoughts soaked with intense feelings is an emotionally straining task and requires balance.
We all have a talent for expression which can be cultivated in many different ways. Each individual can create their own way to express their dreams, fantasies and realities.
Our limitlessness is evident in the way each of us create our lives, our style, appearance, personality, voice, attitude, detailed characteristics, defining thoughts, complex emotions, particular accents, etc. The way each of us see, feel and experience life is different, this unique phenomenon, the creation of being is each individual's own creation.
My talent is my vision and my vision is a reflection of my being, and so is yours.
Que o futuro nos traga Paz interior, alegria espiritual, amor incondicional. Que conquistemos tudo que merecemos com trabalho, dedicação, perseverança.
Vamos lutar por nossos sonhos, que a chama que queima dentro de nossos corações nunca se apague, que nossa alma continue brilhante.
Que venha beleza, que nossos pés nos leve a montanhas altas e prosperas, que nossa amizade cresça com nossos esforços.
Quero sempre um peito cheio de calor, uma paixão queimando a alma, um amor que venha de dentro para fora, uma beleza que se vê com a alma.
Que possamos sempre nos amar mais.
Nothing that resides within you can be taken without consent. So no one stole your heart, they didn't hurt your self esteem, how could they have reached inside your chest and manipulated your feelings?
There's nobody else, there's only you projecting the images you see and the feelings you feel. You make it stay, you take it away, you will it.
The virtue of peace is that it is an action in every step in every path through every passageway. As love is a verb and time and dreams don't always agree.
I keep it to myself
What I truly desire
What I want to feel
I keep it to myself
I see you looking
You show yourself
We snuggle in dreams
And I chase you here
I write cause you don't
Though I've asked you
It's never a good time
So I keep it to myself
This isn't a sad prose
Desire doesn't hurt
It makes my heart full
And I keep it to myself
Make sure you're not saying I love when they buy you something, that you don't just say these words in your mind when you see an attractive picture of them or when others are starring endearingly at them.
Make sure the thought of how much you love them also comes up when you remember the last argument you had, think about the last time they pissed you off, the last kind words they said to you.
Remember the last time they hurt your feelings and what they did about it. So when you say I love you you're sure you really do love another completely and fully with your entire being.
Two worlds crashing
One life ending to begin again
We come clothed in niceness
Begging for acceptance
Preparing ourselves for another
Opening our heart to receive
We forget we are two
One heart misunderstood
One mind with unique views
He says, "come, my perfect angel"
She says, "where are we going"
I push my belly against his
He tells me he wants more
It's ok, it's ok to disagree
Some days your back is all I see
We fight for more time
We argue over what to eat
It's ok, it's ok to disagree
My anger disintegrates
When your blue eyes speak
I lie next to you and miss you
I miss you while you sleep
I never knew I could miss
Someone who's next to me
I'm counting down the time
In a few hours 5am will be here
I work at 9 but can't fall asleep
Your alarm will go off at 4:15am
I put my lips on your shoulder
And miss you
I rest my head on your chest
And miss you
I look into your warm eyes
And miss you
Miss you before you leave
Miss you while you sleep
Miss you tomorrow today
Resting on his bed all night
Making love in the morning
Laying on his couch all day
Watching popular tv shows
Eating his parents applesauce
I think I'll wait for him to return
His blood is in everything here
Even the shadows and ghosts
I tell them how much I love him
He told me he hears the ghosts
I think that's why we love together
Yesterday we made a steak dinner
We fought at the grocery store
Over nothing, always over nothing
Well he takes forever to choose
We grilled two NY strip steaks
We cooked most things together
Bacon macaroni and cheese
Peppers, corn, green beans
It was a very successful diner
We sat together and smoked
And made love for eternities
We're headed down the shore
We're driving to a shore house
We'll be there for two nights
I'm sad because no dogs allowed
But I'm excited to see the ocean
To feel the ocean together with him
Incredible how we can deeply grieve the loss of something we never had, or how we can feel a tremendous void after something we passionately desired leave our lives after a short period of time. Amazing how one dream can extend into eternities and expand to fill our entire being, to a point that when it doesn't manifest into reality we grieve as if a part of us died, well, sometimes a part of us does die. Still, the vision, the perspective, the possibilities presented through dreaming are always worth the pain. I'm grateful for possibilities and the lessons that come with loss.
My lips say I'm ok to fly alone
My heart screams hold my hand
I sit and stare at his beautiful face
I try to forget how much I love him
My mind says I'm ready for the end
Tears of abandonment choke me
I want to leave and go cry alone
The thought of being without him
The idea of chasing the same love He says he's been happier without
Without the pressure to please me
Without the feeling of failing me
My hearts bleeds my soul cries
How can it be that you're leaving
But he's not going anywhere now
He just wanted to let me know
I'm not the only one with weapons
He too can end this and finish us
I've threatened to leave many times
And each time I did it wounded him
And tonight he showed me the scar
I stopped wanting to be things when I realized that every choice I made and every title I claimed drove me further away from other choices I also dreamed of making.
In trying to live without letting things and titles define me I find that my greatest strength to display is mental. For it is, after all, the driving force behind every cell in my body.
Monday, January 23, 2017
I see myself in your smile,
In the intensity of your eyes,
We're so different yet the same, You melt into me, I get lost in you,
Thriving in dire situations,
A blanket of magic draping us,
The sweet and sinful euphoria,
The synchronicity that takes place,
To create our delicious world.