Sunday, April 26, 2015

The Poet



"What is a Poet?… He is a man speaking to men; a man, it is true, endowed with more lively sensibility, more enthusiasm and tenderness, who has a greater knowledge of human nature, and a more comprehensive soul, than are supposed to be common among mankind" 

Beauty




We can see, we can smell, we can taste, we can hear, we can feel, we can touch beauty, but when we do, when the image is imprinted in our minds, when the light is reflected into our hearts, when the sensation is recorded by our limbic, when the pleasure touches our soul, when the smell triggers our feelings, when the sounds keep us awake at night, when the taste is all we can dream about, beauty becomes an obsession, an addiction we pray to consume and to let it consume us. 

A.M 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Crazy Love

It was crazy, 
Velvet red skies dipped in gold,
Her love was passionate clouds 
Enfolding every inch of her lover,
A wild intense magnetic affection, 
It was definitely crazy,
And that's how we knew it was true.

Her love for herself,
Her love for everyone else,
A cooling fountain,
A spring of kindness,
Calming the weary,
Invigorating the fighters. 

Her love for the world,
Poetic, Compassionate,
Soulful, expressive.
Her love for a lover,
A burning flame,
In the sun or in the rain,
Ever lit consuming fire,
Crazy,
She'd give and give again.

Her inspiration,
Her art,
Crazy,
Spontaneous,
Awakening energy,
Renewing hearts,
Inspiring life.

The higher self,
The conscious goddess,
The lover of worlds,
Light Illuminating galaxies,
Crazy love transforming hearts.

It was crazy,
A blue dragon with skin like water, 
Wild, guided by love unconditional,
Flying alone, and occasionally ridden by fools,
She was definitely crazy,
And that's how we knew she was love.


A.M

Making Love

I make love to his wild hair
I bury my face in his mane 
I make love to his scent 
I rub my nose against his skin

I make love to his hands
Gently interlocking fingers 
I make love to his beard
Sniffing and caressing 

I make love to his soul
I welcome him into my heart
I make love to his light
I let it saturate my body

I make love to his eyes 
I dive into his tenderness 
I make love to his beauty 
His graceful warrior spirit 

I make love to him 
I let him see everything 
All he is engages me 
Love is made, not given 

A.M

You don't know how...

When you close your eyes 
You arrive
When you shut your mind
Your soul is by my side

And it tells me 
It tells me
You don't know how
You don't know how

When you fall into slumber
Your spirit comes
When you're dreaming 
I'm with you

And you tell me
You tell me
You don't know how
You don't know how

You come at night 
Always confused 
I give you light
And you abuse

You wake me up
To shut me out
I give you love
And you refuse

I wake up scared
I rise in fright 
Wondering why
I can't touch you

And they tell me
They tell me
You don't know how
You don't know how

A.M

To Let Love

We can't be happy for others if we're not happy.

We can't give love if we don't feel love for ourselves.

We can't accept others when we don't accept ourselves.

We won't appreciate others when we don't appreciate ourselves.

We won't let others go freely into the direction they desire if we aren't giving ourselves the freedom we deserve.

We will do to others as we do to ourselves.

If we are hurting we will hurt others.

If we are insecure we will be jealous of the success of others.

If we feel weak we will envy the strength of others.

And nothing anyone can do, no matter how much love they give,
How much another appreciates and accepts you,
If you don't love, appreciate and accept yourself, 
You will perpetually feel unhappy and envious and insecure.

Letting go is not stopping caring,
Letting go is the beginning of caring more about yourself
And less about what others are doing and feeling and thinking.

Letting go is awakening to your potential, your worth, your beauty,
Your influence and impact in the world around you.

Letting go is giving others the same freedom you deserve.

Letting go is not just about not depending on another to make you feel happy,
It's not just detaching yourself from destructive, possessive, negative feelings.

Letting go is allowing others around you to live as they wish, 
So that you too can live as your heart desires; 
Ignoring the negative vibrations and bringing to surface the treasures of your heart,
allowing compassion to overtake cynicism, criticism, judgment of ourselves and others. 

To let go is to enter the path of awakening to unconditional love for yourself and the world.

A.M

Coming Alive


You come alive inside me
Swimming in spiral currents 
Surfing the waves of emotion
Flowing with the changing winds

Climbing inside me
Crawling throughout me
In every cell of my body
In every corner of my soul

You come, you come
You stay, you stay,
You sleep, you sleep
And from here you never leave

I find solace in your soul
I'm always there
Always with you
And from you I never leave

Encircling my heart 
You're always here
Always with me
And from me you never leave

A.M

WE WRITE

We don't write for praise, fame, fortune, we write to empty the ocean of words within our spirit, 

we write when we feel submerged by emotion, we write because we have stories to tell, we write because we need to in order to heal, 

we write because we need to see ourselves splayed out in front of us, we write so we can move on from troubling thoughts, 

we write because it is how we cope with living, we write because we shaped ourselves into writers, 

we write because it is the easiest way for us to express ourselves, we write because it is our calling, our talent, our artistic expression, we write Period.

 A.M

Heart Language

And after years of listening and acting on thoughts generated by the mind, we found that though we can't help but to listen to these echoes of foreign and inner turbulence, we do not have to repeat them, believe them, identify or act on them. 

After witnessing what happened when we allowed reason to guide us, we found that reason took us further away from our heart's desires. 

So we cultivated a new language, we invested in the path of least or no resistance, we allowed the present moment to freely unfold. 

And we shut our minds, we silenced our tongues and allowed our hearts to speak. And though we do not understand our hearts and have no idea what they're saying, we feel that the language they speak is magnificent and expresses more wisdom than anything our minds could ever conceive. 

So we lay touching hearts, allowing, accepting, loving from root to root; from soul to soul, from heart to heart. 

And we continually find that our hearts have been speaking all along, even when our minds eluded us, even when our souls lacked light, but specially when love was scarce; Ours hearts never stopped communicating and reciprocating. 


A.M 

Beauty

BEAUTY-
-----------
And then the mask falls, 
Her face opens, 
And though her pearls might not be showing, 
The smile in her heart is wide and brilliant, 
And her eyes reflect the radiance of her soul.
-----------
And it's all for you, all for love, 
Her showing of feelings, 
Her show of emotions-
Some which you never felt, 
Others which you hope to feel, 
But all of what you want to see 
And keep memory of experiencing. 
-----------
Light attracts us, 
Pulls us in, fills us, 
Feeds our hunger for passion,
Intensity, discomfort, aliveness.
----------
Light directs awareness to our soul, 
Makes conscious our necessity to heal,
Light reveals what's hidden in darkness,
Shines on our meticulously stored secrets.
----------
And beauty, beauty reflects us, 
Shows what mirrors conceal,
Reveals what our souls are made of, 
Inspires potential, fuels dreams, 
Helps us connect with soul wisdom.
--------
Beauty embraces imperfections,
Envelops them in love, 
Beautifies all that is receptive,
All that is rooted in love.
---------
Beauty embodies all elements;
Strong like wind it swirls around you,
Enveloping you in a compassionate hug, 
Freeing you of your chains,
And displaying your nakedness.
--------
Beauty is wild like water,
Guiding and stirring
And quenching your thirst for knowledge.
---------
Beauty is fruitful like earth,
Developing your seeds, 
Molding and supporting your dreams.
------
Beauty is revolutionary, like fire,
Cleansing, renewing,
Giving new chances for a new you.

A.M

Littles

Oh, lovely one,
How I love thee,
And how sweet you sleep,
Cuddled in tenderness,
Immersed in affection,
You caress the blanket with your soft skin, 
Your sweet face sinks into the comforter, 
Comforting and warming the places you lay,
And the delightful tip of your nose 
gently touches the quilt, 
And you breathe through the one exposed nostril,
Constantly opening your mouth 
to compensate for the shortage of incoming air, 
Sleeping on one side of your face, 
One eye half opened, passed out in slumber,
In coma induced dreams, 
Your ears attentive, lifted, 
As if the only conscious part of your body, 
And your gentle hands embracing your fragile chest,
My sweet love, how graceful you lay, 
How magnificent you sleep, 
Oh lovely one, how I love thee. 

A.M


Toxicity

It took me a long time, 
But I healed myself,
I enlightened my mind,
I changed my perception,
I opened my soul to love,
I accepted the fact that I'm loved.

Loving a toxic person,
For so long,
Not understanding why,
Not wanting to accept,
There are no exceptions,
When someone is toxic.

And you torture your mind,
Wondering why they keep coming back,
You tell yourself they love you,
But how can they love you,
If they don't respect you,
Don't appreciate you,
Hurt you when they don't have to.

They come back because they're empty,
Because you're amazing,
Because you're love,
Because they need to use you,
To feel your love,
To feel alive,
Because they are toxic,
Because they lack self worth.

A sick soul is easy to identify,
They function in patterns,
They tell you what you want to hear,
They are shameless,
They'll tell you anything to use you,
They don't feel remorse,
They don't evolve,
They'll stab you over and over again,
IF YOU LET THEM.

A.M

Drunk Mentor


Red eyes, blank stare
Breathing out cold air
Empty chest, burnt tongue
His dragon heart is frozen

Day's done, night begins
Bottle in hand
He sips till sleep creeps in
Rescuing his soul from abyss 

Day starts with a headache
But there are people waiting
Depending, needing 
So he rushes out to see them

Weekend comes
Wasted days begin
A chance for strange sex
He puts on his best mask

Sunday arrives
He didn't get enough
So he pounces on my love
But I'm a fast prey 

Struggling to reach me
He throws compliments 
But I'm used to this chase
So I keep running steady

Waiting for me to tire
He sits with his laments
Controlled by his past
Removed from the present 

My soul tightly embraces the boy 
My heart reaches for warmth
But all I find is dust
Dirt where passion used to be

But lately, I stopped reaching 
I watch his flesh sinking
Bones breaking
Muscles shrinking 

And I hear a scream
 "Go to your love"
And I continue to walk forward
Knowing the worst is over 

And he says I'm the best
The best drink he's ever had
And the devil watches me closely
Waiting for the upper hand

And he sits in his castle 
In his secluded throne 
And in a bottle he finds courage 
To convince others to join him

Hoping they won't be disappointed
For what he expects he cannot give
So he sits back with his drink in hand 
Wondering if I changed my number again


 A.M

NOW

As I grow older I begin to notice,
That the only thing we own is now,
And that the only love we have is Now.

All we have is within the present,
And every moment is precious,
And love never waits for the right time;

The right time for us to feel rested,
For us to be groomed and ready,
For us to be healed and fearless.

Life doesn't wait for us to feel inspired,
Good looking, healthy, happy or ready,
Life challenges us to act despite discomfort.

Life happens and if we're in tune,
If we're aware enough to go with the flow,
We move along and try not to mess things up.

Every present moment is an opportunity, 
A chance to love more, to share more, 
To be more of who we want to be.

This knowledge can prompt us to move faster;
It can scare us, make us adopt a strong sense of urgency;
Making us so focused trying to make the most of every moment 
That we neglect the stillness inside us and lose touch with our soul.

There are many who have lived or live this way,
Trying to be everywhere and do everything at once;
Unaware, anxious, depressed, nervous, angry,
Unconscious, disconnected from their true self.

That is not the kind of taking charge that I'm referring to,
I'm not saying that we must do it all now,
I'm explaining that we can love it all now-
By accepting the grandness that is the now,
By embracing the unconditional love the present offers,
By stoping the chase after past or future presents.

Before the next hour, week, month, year,
Before the next decade arrives,
Before old age gets here,
Before we are set in our ways
And it's harder to change,
Before our chance has passed away.

Why not be in love with who we are now, 
Why not love the life we were given today, 
Why not accept the love we are being offered now;

Embracing the parents we still have left,
The neighbors we are set up next to,
The coworker we are chosen to work with,
And the people who genuinely care and strengthen us.

But most importantly,
Why don't we guide and control the ego we created,
Why don't we stop identifying with temporal thoughts,
Why don't we start feeling with our spiritual minds,
Why don't we stop judging and labeling,
Why don't we stop criticizing and spreading negativity.

Time will never turn back to grant us a second chance,
All we can do is give our best now,
And our best always comes from our heart.

As time passes I begin to see,
That any and every feeling counts,
That what we take pleasure in saying
Can inspire but also wound.

And if we want peace within and throughout,
We must consider our thoughts
Before we write and speak our mind,
For we can be cruel and destructive sometimes.

I now understand what our choices can do,
How much every decision affects our future,
And how I gave way to where I am now.

There is only one love- the Now love,
There is no saving love for later.
You are love or you are resisting love.
I now see, I now accept, that Now is it.

A.M

Share Now

 We always think we have time,
But the reality is that our time is short.

We spend the little time we have 
Avoiding what is real,
Wasting the present,
Anxiously waiting,
Selfishly longing,
For what matches the illusion in our head.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed,
And love is never about others,
It's always about us,
And how much we allow
Ourselves to feel and share.

A.M

Undying Passion

There's so much I'd like to say,
But I've said so much in the past,
That I'd rather keep it all to myself.

I've broken every resolution,
I've gone back on every decision,
I've changed my beliefs,
Regarding Us.
I've given up on understanding
You and Me.

I miss you,
But not like a lover misses another.

I miss you like a ghost misses living,
I long for you like a free diver longs for air,
I want you like a prisoner wants freedom,
I love you like Rumi loved Shams;
Unconditionally, incomprehensibly,
Uncontrollably, ineffably.

I love you in God consciousness,
With eternal peace,
With immeasurable joy,
I love you with all I am, was, and hope to be.

In a constant state of slow gravity,
Completely detached from everything around me.
I feel like I've lost something of great value,
But I'm not sure if it is love, time or a part of me.

My body is a feather floating on air,
And I can hear my heart beating,
Slow, fearing the wind's direction,
Longing for my resting place,
Envisioning a perfect landing on your heart-- 
To see, to smell, to feel the beloved near. 

There's so much I'd like to say,
But I've said so much in the past,
That I'd rather keep it all to myself.

A.M

Wishful Thinking

He was shallow
She was deep
They danced together
But never understood 
What brought them close

He was impulsive
She was passionate
And for different reasons
They would get together
Till differences set them apart

She couldn't penetrate his soul
He couldn't see into her spirit 
So they kissed, they touched
And left each other alone
But always left hungry

Till one day, he grew courage
He let himself go into love
And fell into her completely
And immersed in her depth
He witnessed her burning heart

And she, overjoyed 
Was able to enjoy 
The simple confusion he lived in
Matching his troubles with hers
And accepting his simple philosophy 

And he was no longer 
Blinded by shallowness
When traveling inside her
And she was no longer
Worried by differences

They no longer lived bothered
By the hunger that inspired 
Their hearts to seek each other
To dance together
Time and time again

For what is true, what is real
Never dies, never fades
And restores peace
And attracts the beloved
Time and time again

A.M

Loveolution


Today, I love differently than I did yesterday,
And everyday, every year that passes
It seems that my love changes,
My heart evolves and my love transforms.

Today, I love with a calm heart,
I miss you with a serene mind,
I desire with respect for myself,
I love with love for who I am.

I don't need a lover, but I enjoy loving,
For loving taught me about myself;
Falling in love helped me break my limits,
It showed me I had been loving wrong,
That I had stayed in my comfort zone.

I learned love-unconditional;
To cultivate compassion,
To give selfless attention,
To live each present moment.
I learned to love with pleasure;
To please with love.

I learned the importance of truth,
And passion, and genuine attraction.
I learned to let go of ego;
To quiet my pride,
And fall into love with my whole heart.

I've loved in many ways...

I've desired love with a bitter mind,
I've longed for my lover with a broken heart,
I've prayed for love in agony,
I've asked for a heart in tears,
I've gone to see the beloved in despair,
I've kissed my lover's lips in pain,
I've shared my body in misery.

And so I've loved in many ways...

In confused, hurtful ways,
But also, on good, happy, joyful days.

I've kissed with ardent passion,
I've touched with intense desire,
I've opened my body for my lover to come in,
I've splayed my heart for them to understand,
I've pleased with loving kindness,
I've longed with simple peace,
I've accepted the beloved completely,
I've grown to love my lover as they are.

I've loved in many ways,
I've showed love in every way,
I've done all the crazy stuff
People do when they're in love.

And today, I love with freedom,
With everything I've created for me,
With all my serenity, my patience,
My humility and compassion,
With all that I am and strive to be.

Today, I love without pain,
Without possessiveness and need,
I love without dependence,
Without regret and bitterness.

Today, I love,
Because I learned love,
Because I can love,
Because I am love.

A.M

The Creator

Have you come to my rescue?
Whole or in half,
Broken or torn?
As a teacher, a muse, a pupil,
Or my match? 
Will you light the way to my dreams?
Or are you another I can’t learn from.

His words are truth,
The truth within my soul,
Love;
The only truth I know.

He doesn’t write from logic,
From poetic perception,
He doesn’t strive to embellish.
He doesn't only reveal his righteous, 
tender bits: his aspirations of a better man.

He writes with his fingers but it is not
His flesh that composes.
His soul is the artist;
The master of truth and lies,
The savior of genuine expression.

Hell speaks through his pen
And heaven sees through his eyes.
A deliverer,
Freeing bound hands and removing blind folds.

Releasing souls from chambers of dead hope, 
To unveil corrupted truths
And heavenly lies,
To show men’s soul kingdom.

Splaying spirits; 
revealing darkness 
and planting seeds of light.

In dying flesh lies eternal existence,
Within a corrupted body dwells an angel;
Perceiving as men
But experiencing divine wisdom.

Burning through lies and igniting truth,
Living in hell and aspiring heaven;
There lays the artist,
There dwells the poet’s soul.

A.M


Slay them All



Love summons strength once more,
My soul marches forth.
 
A soul quivers in the dark,
I raise my sword in high guard.
My arms above my head
My sword straight, 
I strike from above like a hawk.

No dwelling, no hesitating,
I raise my sword again after each strike,
No compassion for my target,
No mercy for my brothers.

Are there any others, my king? 
Who else should I kill?
For freedom is worth slaying for! 

A.M 

My Talent is Love

My talent is not writing, 

it is appreciation, 

thought recognition, 

thought observation.

It is introspective vision, 

It is the ability to listen,

it is patience. 

It is beauty reflected in a mirror of words, 

it is loyalty, commitment, 

Dedication, perseverance.

But above all my talent is love. 

A.M


Earth and Fire

My Earth, your fire, 
planting seeds, reaping fruit, 
igniting dreams, moving mountains. 

I can nurture your goals, 
you can melt away the obstacles in the way of mine, 
with your fire, with your lava, you incinerate my fears,
 help me overcome every challenge that's placed in my way. 

Your fire can start a fire in my belly, 
igniting the flames of passion I need to achieve my dreams. 
Your confidence, my compassion,
 our leadership, united, 
there's nothing we can't accomplish. 

A.M



I AM THAT, I AM

There's no pain,
No agony,
So I search for discomfort.

I run,
I stretch,
I lift,
I learn new skills,
I relocate,
I push boundaries,
I leave my comfort zone.

There's no heartache,
No misery,
No longing,
No specific worry,
No certain destiny,
No one name I'm calling.

In a place filled with possibilities,
In a land where I'm the newest addition,
Making new creative conditions,
To replace obsolete habits,
To recycle exasperated emotions,
To plant healing seeds,
To recharge a tired heart,
To renew my used feelings,
To free my timid spirit.

All mistakes merged,
All faults dissolved into one,
All doubt became one question.
And I'm a victim of nothing,
But my own inexperience.

There's none to blame,
There are no regrets.
If I acted in selfishness,
If I was motivated by ego,
If I've been petty and stubborn,
It was all my own doing,
The doing of my ignorance.

Whether I was conscious or unconscious,
Aware or unaware,
I own up to my mistakes.

No pain,
No blame,
No misery,
No longing,
No one name I'm calling,
No one soul I'm blaming,
No one situation I'm regretting.

It's one big pot of experience,
And I might not be proud of some,
But I don't condemn none.
I forgive myself,
And those who helped me hurt myself,
For if I wasn't already hurting,
They wouldn't of helped.

There's one heart,
One pain,
One understanding,
One desire to evolve.
There's only one love;
My love.
Only one soul I long for;
My god.
Only one place I long to be;
My peace.

Here I create myself,
I decide how I feel.
Here I forgive myself,
I do what's best for me.
I free my spirit,
I open my heart,
I love unconditionally,
I give selflessly,
I live intensely,
I share passionately.

Here I heal as I grow,
I grow as I evolve,
I evolve as I understand,
I understand as I let go.

I am peace;
I am love;
I am god.

A.M

L.O.V.E





It never leaves, never dies, never stops. 

It's ever present, ever burning, ever empowering. 

It is passionate, it is silly, it is childish. 

It never quits, it doesn't listen to ego, it doesn't follow mind. 

It is whole onto itself, it requires no consent, it needs not a body. 

It supports dreams, it fuels reality, it feeds desires.

It frees us from material chains, it extracts us from this body,
It shows us sacred places our bodies can't enter.

It teaches humility, compassion, unconditional kindness.

It is spirit, it is light, it is stardust, it is universal consciousness. 

It inspires, it comforts, it calls the beloved's heart near.

It tells me, it shows me, I'm forever connected to your spirit.

A.M






Wasted

Ever bound by my desires,
Ever yours by fate and power,
Ever hopeless loving you,
Ever helpless in stubborn harshness. 

My dear love,
Carry me away from this trench,
For I can fight no longer,
I cannot endure another strike,
Under your shallow heart I cannot hide.

You sing me empty poems,
Songs of fantasy and lust,
You come to me broken,
A self inflicting burden.

And though I've sustained you,
I've consented to your pleasure,
I've sewn your heart together,
I cannot, I will not, die with you. 

Come to me when you wish to live,
Call upon me when you're ready to love,
Look for me when passion is your motive
And compassion is fueling your courage. 

A.M

To aid or to hurt

To turn them into such as I am 
would bring about their destruction.

But how to love without stirring rebellion;
To share without changing paths;
To give without taking identity;
To inspire without transforming lives.

Have I shared too much already?
Are they adopting a new persona?

In love, I attempted to show what I see;
Compassionate, I shared my wisdom;
Passionate, I preached change and freedom. 

But not every soul can cope with these gifts
And the burdens that follow.
Not everyone desires a look into the mysterious,
Not every mind wants to handle acute awareness.

With all these ghosts roaming the land I'm never alone,
Which causes my mind to seek solitude.
Not for privacy, but for energy and time,
Time to listen and energy to hear what they're telling me.

And though I love my gift, it isn't easy to cope.
To preserve the time and energy I need to cultivate my talent,
I must seek my own treasures and follow my own creations.
For to lose vision would steer me away from my sacred place.

And so I tread carefully through their minds,
Loving without drawing a new mind,
Inspiring without decapitating souls,
Giving without creating monsters I cannot care for.

For to turn them into such as I am 
would bring about their destruction.

A.M


Away in Body

I grow weary as my departure day approaches,
Afraid of being without the option of seeing you;
Scared of being away from the reach of your hands,
Frightened of the day I won't be just a car ride away.

This weariness surprises me,
This ego agony;
This selfish sense of possession
Of when we are in close distance.

I take not advantage of seeing you
while we share the same country,
But the idea of being oceans away 
quickly dissolves my sanity.

I am not sure what awaits me overseas,
I'm uncertain of how long I'll be gone, 
Or if I should meet with a fate 
That could keep me longer than expected. 

I realize, I've been selfish.
I have expressed my desires,
I have shared my undying passion,
And yet, I have refused consent,
I have withheld my presence 
from your yearning spirit.

I did not think I'd be writing this letter,
I did not expect my heart to be longing as it is now.
I did not think I would miss the mere comfort,
The simple illusion of being close to your body.

Even in my dreams you strike me,
Your voice seduces my senses,
Your charm stunts my awareness,
Transforms me into a school girl-
Nervous, infatuated and fearful. 

Will this pain travel with me,
Will you come with me in heart,
Shall I take this longing in my soul,
On my journey to a world far younger than yours.

I'm going back in time,
And you're coming with me,
To a place where ghosts lead,
Where I'll be haunted by your absence,
Where I'll be reminded of my penance.

I've let go of possessive ideas,
I no longer feed my fantasies,
I'm detached from the dream,
I've stopped resisting the present.
I've done my best to free myself of ego insanities;
To be rid of jealousy, attachment, greed and vanity.

I've severed my connection to the pain,
of being apart from my twin flame.
I've even attempted to love as passionately,
As intensely, as wholeheartedly as I've loved you.
And in those attempts I've found flashes,
Fading reflections of a similar passion.

But I cannot stop the dreams,
I cannot quit the emotion,
So I'll take you with me on my journey.
Again, you venture with me in spirit,
My sweet stubborn flame.
I'd ask you for a kiss goodbye,
But that would only linger my departure. 


A.M



My friend, Solitude


There are different kinds of loneliness. 

To me, the worst kind is when we are alone and attached to people and things which are no longer part of the now or beneficial to our health. 

When we are consumed by unrealized fantasies, when we are haunted by idealized memories. 

When we are obsessed with understanding another person's behavior, when we believe we can only be happy with a certain thing or person. 

When we give up control over our feelings, when we surrender responsibility for our happiness. 

When we cling to a past state, when we tell ourselves we are entitled to something or someone. 

When we refuse to accept our present situation and be content in the now. 

I think that the best kind of loneliness happens when we are alone and sovereign. 

When we are emotionally detached from possessive ideas and desires. When our view of reality isn't determined by the pictures others paint for us, when we seek our own truth in spite of what others tell us. 

When we aren't infected by the thoughts of the masses around us. When we don't place expectations on people and situations. 

Solitude is only frightening when we fear being seduced by the dark side, when we are scared to be with ourselves completely for fear of what we might discover. 

It is in solitude that we meet our angels and demons, when we are introduced to the best and worst in us. 

As frightening as this can be, it is also enlightening and creatively inspiring. When we are aware, in conscious seclusion, we learn to distinguish the negative from the positive, the thoughts that encourage our dark side and the ones which inspire compassionate love and healing. 

By spending time alone and observing our thought process we learn our true nature and realize we can be our best ally or worst enemy. 

Solitude is imperative for healing, it allows us to clearly observe recurring thoughts and understand the ideas associated to pain. It helps us distinguish the thoughts that trigger anger, hate, depression, and understand the illusive judgmental thoughts impeding us from experiencing unconditional love for ourself and others. 

I cherish uninterrupted silence and solitude, for it teaches me the best and worst about myself. It gives me the peace I need to be able to hear what my intuition is telling me. It grants me the chance to cultivate enriching thoughts, to flourish creative ideas, and to impair and sever the growth of cancerous poisonous thoughts preying on my well being. 

I am in control of my destiny, but it only takes one deceptive thought, one moment of impulsive ignorance, one surrender to greedy impatience, one moment of misguidance, one unaware action. It only takes giving into anger and self destructiveness once, to shake my state of health, to elude me from reality, and seduce me into the dark side and onto a sick path. And if I falter, if I begin to give in to that which does not serve or compliment my soul, I can always count on solitude and loneliness to help me regain control of my destiny. 


A.M




Poetic Insight

We are not separated by money, status or success.
We are set apart by integrity, character and respect.

We aren't bonded by attraction, lust and sex.
We remain close through love, understanding and acceptance.

We don't remain friends through hobbies, interests and purpose.
We seek each other to share motivation, inspiration and compassion.

What destroys our connection isn't detachment, indifference or distance.
What breaks us apart is possession, jealousy and attachment.

What keeps us apart isn't our commitments, priorities or business.
What maintains us distant is fear, judgment and resentment.

Our heart brings us close, our spirit bonds us, our ego sets us apart.
Choose with heart, love with soul, and use reason to plan your work.

A.M



Moving on to Now



Sometimes we surrender our dignity 
For a love that we think will last.
And when the relationship ends
We find ourselves lost in the past
Without purpose or identity.

We wander in that which was sweet,
Relive moments of bliss.
We cling to passionate memories and feelings,
Attach ourselves to the best parts of the relationship,
Idealizing and glorifying someone who deserted us.

We lock ourselves in a prison
Of sweet sorrow lament,
Reliving infatuation through sentiment.
We don’t want to move forward,
So we create a relationship with what was,
What could of been, what could be.

We tell ourselves that they'll return,
While we wait uncomfortably in stagnant delusion.
We lock ourselves in the happy moments
And allow memories to trap and use us.
We make excuses for them,
We cling on to a person who abandoned us.

We cover our scars with our mistakes,
We accept blame for the ending
And begin to hate ourselves.

Anxiety kicks in,
Followed by agony and despair.
And while we are making ourselves sick,
We insist that we need them,
That we don't deserve them,
That we're not good enough for them.

Even though they left us,
Even though we are suffering,
Barely living, hardly sleeping,
We cling on to the idea 
That having them back will stop the pain.
We tell ourselves that our happiness 
Is only possible when they are with us.
We even convince ourselves that they love us
And are probably missing us.

We ignore the fact that we need to reform,
That we must acknowledge reality
And accept the ending of the relationship.
We grow afraid of growing,
We tell ourselves we're unable to move forward.
We refuse to emerge from the past
And get our heads out of the mud.
We refuse to get out of the box of illusions
We locked ourselves in. 

We grow scared of living in the now,
Of accepting the present outcome.
Afraid of dealing with the idea of failure
We completely miss out on the big picture.
Never realizing that we are suffering 
Because we are allowing the ego
To run our lives, to control our heart;
With judgment, attachment,
Self hatred and possessiveness.

We don't yet understand
That we are hurting ourselves by resisting the present;
That we are failing to bring awareness to the now;
That by clinging to the ending of a relationship
We are reliving the same disappointment
Over and over by dwelling in painful memories.

By not accepting the outcome of things
And allowing the ego to infect us 
With feelings of fear, shame, embarrassment,
Hatred, jealousy, greed, attachment,
We exhaust our energies;
Depleting and destroying our life force.

There is liberation in letting go of the past,
There is freedom in accepting the present,
In being at peace with the outcome of things.
But not until we understand 
That what exited our lives no longed suits us;
No longer benefits our health and evolution;
And we must never dwell on negative emotion.

We must stop judging ourselves and others.
We must never allow our relationships to define us.
We must take responsibility for our health.
Our physical, emotional and spiritual wellness
Is not controlled by how others treat us
Or who moves in and out of our lives. 

We alone control how we feel,
No one can make us feel inferior
Without our consent.
We must grow comfortable with who we are
And accept ourselves completely.
We must take the time to get to know 
Who we are so we can love ourselves
And feel whole as a single being. 

We must return to a complete state,
Like that which we were in when we were born,
Before we grew infected with false ideas
Of how we should live, feel and love.
We must learn to trust and follow our heart again,
As we did when we were kids.
We must bring our attention to the present moment,
Bring awareness to the blessings before us.

We must shatter the illusions, get rid of the excuses,
Let go of the people who walked out of our lives
Or aren't beneficial to our emotional health and soul growth.
So that we may create new dreams, invite new desires,
Pursue new opportunities.
Send out invitations for a new love
That might help us grow and evolve
Into a wiser and healthier person.

Lets never again allow the ego to hold us back
From living and loving freely and unconditionally. 
Our souls are limitless, if we are still feeling restricted 
It's because our awareness isn't in the present moment
And we are listening to the fear based ego.
We have no problems now, 
Lets enjoy the present, appreciate the gift, 
Bring awareness to the beauty within and around us,
Open our eyes to the endless possibilities.

Life is short, time is luck, lets live now, love now.

A.M



 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Alone


A passion shared by one body,
An affair of one soul,
A love that belonged to one heart, 

And then I awoke,
After eternities of dreaming
And creating countless fantasies,

I found myself submerged,
Deep in starved desires,
Encompassed by oblivion,

In conscious unconsciousness,
I saw you far away in my delusion,
And wasn't sure if you were real,

Or an entity created by my mind,
An extension of the love in my heart,
A spirit made up by my soul,

Were you a light only seen by my eyes,
A passion generated in my veins,
A force growing out of my womb,

Arising from my love for the mysterious, 
Born from my willingness to explore the unknown,
Coming alive through my readiness to believe,

Were you a dream only dreamt by my mind,
A feeling only felt by my heart,
A love story only lived by my soul,

You were there when I awoke,
But we didn't awake together,
You were in a different dream,

A passion shared by my heart alone.

A.M







Energy Chords


My humble observation on energy chords between humans and the planet:

 The only thing we let go of is ourselves, Every other attachment is an illusion that comes with identifying with ego.

 Everyone has a choice, we choose to cultivate chords with others. 
 We often don't realize that there is a real live energy chord connecting us to everyone we care about and sometimes don't care about. 

 You see, even after we stop talking and seeing someone the chord can remain active, either by both or one person constantly feeding the chord and using it to send emotional thoughts. 

The chord must be cut, cut by our minds, our vision, our souls, we must envision the chord between us and them and literally cut the chord as we wish them love and peace and farewell. 

 Sometimes our thoughts are healthy, loving, forgiving, and other times they are packed with anger and hurt. 

Sometimes we send and receive negativity in the form of obsessive thinking, projections of blame and shame and other unhealthy illusions. 

 We must witness our thoughts and relax our minds, we must let negative thoughts go and create thoughts of love and gratitude. 

Fill your heart with love and you won't have space or tolerance for anything else. 

 Every thought you feed feelings to creates a real emotion, creates an emotional folder in your memory. 

Believing and identifying with hurtful, painful, hateful thoughts sets you up for misery every time you take that negative folder out and relive those emotions. 

It impairs your healing, sets you back. You can't stop what you think about but you can control what you create. 

If you don't create negativity you most likely won't have to deal with much of it, other than the people you come across. 

The most important relationship you have is the one with your divine essence, that's the relationship you must cultivate, that's the temple you must keep clean. 

Everything that you think and say can't be erased, you are energy creating energy with every breath you take. 

It is in your power to choose how you feel this very next moment and every moment after that. 

 You are a miracle, you could be anyone but you are you, and there's no one like you and there'll never be. 

Cherish the opportunity to experience this life, cherish your freedom, your canvas, your magnificent planet that gave birth to your species. 

Be grateful for the opportunity to love. This life is truly magnificent, filled with so many gifts, so much friendship, family, art. 

 We have a choice, whether to identify with unnecessary suffering or not. Creating compassionate thoughts, giving gratitude, allowing peace and contentment to overtake your heart, sharing your soul, connecting to life, feeling the world, the universe, cultivating, feeding positive emotion through the chord between you and all humanity, experiencing a compassionate, unconditional, passionate love.

 Letting go of ego, letting go of all fears, letting go of identity and labels. We are light, strength, power, we are magic. 

You are a shooting star flying across the sky, making your own time, shining bright across my heart, guiding my adventures through the driest deserts. I allow our connection, I feed you love and gratitude through our chord. 

 A.M






Angel


His head fits perfectly between my breasts, 

His hair feels like feathers between my fingers, 

I smell his skin and kisses and sweaty love, 

Bolts of light traveling through our bodies, 

Shocks of energy coming from his soul to mine, 

Life force cycling through our burning bodies, 

 And he tells me, "I felt it, going from me to you, I felt it", 

 He looks up at me and I lower my forehead to his lips, 

All mingled, breasts and face and lips and mouth, 

 Snuggling like angels cuddling in clouds of gratitude, 

The golden light and angelic embrace of a beast, 

 His legs are finely sculpted trunks of Madagascar baobab, 

 We talk about our desires, we share each other's dream, 

 We have moments of simultaneous clarity, 

 But for the most part we dream, we dream. 

 A.M



Who are you?


Who are you, 
striking me with your fierce gaze, 
looking upon me with curiosity and vulnerability. 
Who are you, inciting rebellion in my heart, enticing my soul with lustful offerings.

Heaven has a house for you, 
illuminated creature, enchanting with endearing songs and lustful pleas. 

From which realm did your alchemist soul emerge, breaking your way into my heart with appealing confidence, Piercing my soul with fearless honesty and mighty arrogance. 

 Fear, stirring in my chest, at the sight of your presence, at the sound of your advances. Terror, frightening me so, taking hold of my hopelessly romantic soul. 

 I know I mustn't consent to empty requests, but what of the joy, the euphoria, the love ballad playing in my chest at the thought of laying my head upon your lap. 

 Sweet pain, to miss your sweet presence; Bittersweet sorrow, to kiss you goodbye; Overwhelming despair to think I might not see you again. 

 Where do you wonder, so fair but far away. To the sun I look and to Apollo I pray, that you might find your way to my humble stay. 

 Descendant of Dionysus, you make merry my soul. Sweet beast, my infatuated heart implores, your rigorous hands to cover my skin, your passionate touch to please my fantasies. 

 When we kiss my soul escapes my body and I float free, my spirit takes flight and follows wherever you lead. 

 Most glorious presence, such comforting peace you grant me, nothing but pleasure and contentment, nothing but love resting upon my chest. 

When I hear your graceful steps approaching, 
 when I'm certain our lips are soon to be touching, 
when you embrace me; 
Venus takes ahold of my soul, 
 my euphoric heart trembles beating wildly like a drum, 
And I'm willingly taken hostage into your lustful realm. 

 I faint into your arms, as if under a spell, enchanted by Aphrodite herself. 
I surrender my love to you, as your goddess, your mistress, your nymph, your muse, your lover, your friend, whatever you fancy me as. 

 As long as you look upon me with endearing, longing eyes, as long as I feel sweet loving affection in your touch, as long as your body burns with intense desire for me, as long as you call me with passion and fire in your voice, I'll remain loyal to your body, faithful to your heart, devout to your soul. 

 A.M

Music


Listening to bach piano, Each click of the keyboard pulls strings at my heart, For in every key there is intense passion and emotion, I feel every push, every press, every deep stroke, Hands and finger tips pushing on my heart strings, Creating dramatic sounds, painting invisible pictures, Anxiously inviting you to create your play, Symphonies take you closer to your soul, They lift you up off the ground, Music makes our hearts float. 

 A.M



 

Stallion






Like feathers hanging from an angel's wing,

Like thick soft strands on a stallion's skin,

His hair hangs heavy on my breasts, 

Covering my face and mouth and tongue, 

We're never sure whose hair we're kissing on,

And his hands are guided to my pleasure,
 
The right movement and rhythm traveling my body,

And I kiss the boy because I can't do anything else,

To look into your beach eyes and not kiss your lips, 

I don't think either of us are capable of that, 

A kiss that holds on my tongue spreading my cheeks,

A kiss that stretches our faces forming one desire,

My tongue lingers between your lips,

Moving up your neck and spine I kiss your mind,

You bleed light through your smile and envelop me,

You call out my name and I'm disposed to call yours,

Sweet dancer and composer of tantric symphonies, 

Play my body for hunger hurts the fanciful mind,

And a goose like me does not let go of one of its kind.

A.M





Sunday, November 16, 2014

Prose



To make you feel ashamed,
To swear its for the best.
She told me it was weakness
To feel so much on any occasion;
To easily change heart,
To quickly detach from what revolts,
To easily give up on what doesn't serve.
My friends would think I stopped loving them.

She told me I was ungrateful, 
To easily doom negative words 
and the mouths they came out of.   
She said my aloofness was selfish,
For I always took the road less traveled;
To watch monkeys jumping from tree to tree,
To smell the fresh air of unpaved roads,
To walk to the ocean and smell eucalyptus along a dirt road. 

I was bored when listening to society, 
Nauseous of hearing the same problems,
My tongue was tired of repeating the same things. 
But I never neglected the big avenues, 
And I became an excellent listener 
To the point of pointing hearts to love.
I force myself to do things I love but do not understand, 
and I don't do things I understand but do not love.

But that's not what baffles me the most,
For what is most amusing is that 
In all of the ways that I evolved 
There were aspects that remained exactly the same. 
This epiphany gave me visions of myself 
as a foggy diamond being polished. 
I understand what causes pain,
And still, I love everyone in our family, 
I think that's a miracle on its own. 
I think it's magic, the mysteriousness of how I came to be here. 

I tell them I want to feel, they call that crazy,
To feel to the point where you see images, 
To breathe in your lover, to feel them inside 
Playing your heart strings, fiddling your nerves, 
igniting their soul with your light, feeding on your life force,
opening their bloodstream for you to swim in.
Merging hearts, intertwining souls,
Sharing beauty, appreciating your beloved 
In a way that fills your soul with sparkling glitter. 

I love to feel, I like seeing the edge, I like being extreme,
I enjoy having the option to jump, to float, to fly, to dream,
to come, to go, to leave. I like standing near high cliffs, 
it's the only way to see infinity, to feel, 
to let go of imaginary control because of illusionary fear. 
I'm only afraid of what my lover might do to my spirit 
when he rushes into my soul in full speed and bursts my doors open. 
For I don't like cleaning messes, but I love making them. 

A.M



Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Subhuman


I removed the hindering veil from my eyes
I took off the restraining robe of ignorance
I found courage to accept what you are

A ghost, a premonition of a man
A wicked spirit, a light eyed demon
A heart in embers, a burning corpse

I looked upon you, restless in your coffin
Dormant beauty, contagious vulnerability
I thought my radiance could awaken you

To melt the ice around your heart
To warm your soul with God's peace
To rest your mind with lover's wisdom

Between compassion and surrender
I grew addicted to feeling your terror
I betrayed my intuition for a winged demon

I adopted a ghost, I gave you human form
I turned you into a dream to sustain my art
A vampire and a dove, until you turned me

Lost integrity, stripped of all humanity
I was ruled by fear and instinct, surviving
Beneath you, following your demands

You showed me off and then drained me
From white to purple, from bones to ashes
You cut my neck, you bleed me empty

You left me sick to die, crawling underground
But I survived your coffin, with immortality
Your venom revived me, I lived to tell my story

Restored faith, renewed light, regained dignity
And you won't feed on me, my flesh, my energy
My blood, my sanity, you can't take from me

Now you're just a monster beneath my bed
A boogie man inside my shoes and garments
A ghost roaming the streets, a vampire in a bar

Looking for fresh blood, preying on little girls
Ruining good women for the good men
Playing hearts, turning souls to ghosts

Taking strength to sustain your dead ego
I see you now, I didn't want to before
A human shell, an evil creature, a subhuman

A.M

Saturday, August 24, 2013

All I know is Now


My desire is cold,
calculated fantasies,
restrained spontaneity,
grounded freedom.
---------
My heart is open,
unbiased,
shared freely
with all who need it.
---------
My body is guarded,
in conscious isolation,
aware of the dangers
of openness.
---------
My soul is free,
wondering through your dreams,
pleasing your desires,
open to your fantasies,
---------
roaming in your body,
waking your hidden longings,
inciting emotion,
freeing your feelings.
----------
All I know is now...
----------
if my soul should rise and fall
I'll never know,
if I should succeed or fail in my attempts
I'll never know,
----------
I cannot tell the difference
between winning and losing,
between high and low,
Between success and failure.
----------
For I live in the clouds,
I thrive in the now,
I live for today,
I give it away,
----------
I spend it all now,
no feelings get saved,
no frustration remains,
I give it away,
----------
I express my desires,
I pray for nourishment,
I take what I need,
I sustain my hunger,
----------
For soul food,
For love,
For wisdom,
For purpose.
----------
Why be one idea
when we can be two worlds
in one universe?
-----------
Why accept and conform
When we can inspire growth
Through doubt and difference?
----------
Your opposing qualities
draw me closer,
to grow from your flaws,
to learn from your vices,
----------
to become stronger
in the light of your qualities,
To love you for love,
To accept you for you.
----------
To rise or to fall,
to love or to fight,
to break or to marry,
these ideas don't concern me.
----------
All I know is now...

A.M


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Love

Love is for the brave,
the fearless,
the selfless,
the compassionate.

Love is for those strong
enough to give,
cultivate and express it.

Love is for the strong hearted,
the free spirited,
the spontaneous minded,

Love is for the risk takers,
the dream chasers,
the thinkers, the ruminators.

Love is for those who plant,
who nurture,
love is for those interested in growing,
evolving, for love is a star in motion.

Love is a seed that gives fruit
to more seeds that need planting
and nurturing to continue to thrive.

And only those who observe
and understand love's cycle
can remain in love,
with love,
for love.

I love unconditionally,
I'm constantly renewing,
cultivating, changing, evolving,
planting, nurturing, reaping fruits
and replanting seeds,

For I want to stay in love for as long as I live.

A.M

Sunday, August 18, 2013

I miss you


Perhaps
I haven't exhausted my heart completely
Maybe
I haven't given everything to this love

Perhaps
I'm still waiting for your soul to find me
Maybe
I still believe you'll come for me this lifetime

Perhaps
I'm craving a love I've only longed for
Maybe
We were only together in my fantasies

What else is left
for me to give to you, my love
What else can I learn
from this surrender

Lover, you know me so well
And yet, your reason can blind you
Show me your purposeful heart
Share with me your majestic spirit

I want to scream
I want to reach out
But I know
you won't see me with holy eyes

It's time like these
I wish you'd let me love you
Let me guide you
Let me show you

How selfish is that
Desiring to free you for my benefit
How self centered would I be
To awaken you, so you could love me

I want to call and say I miss you
I want to knock and say I need you
I want to hug and feel you
I want our lips touching again

These affairs fade away
I'm not concerned with missed dates
I'm not excited for any meeting
It is you that I want to love in the finale

It's you, infatuating my heart
It's your light, contagious in my soul
It's your image that always comes first
It's you, I've been waiting for

I feel your heart calling
This feeling tortures me
The calling of your soul
For my unconditional love

Denying my desires
only made me hungrier
I long to be entangled with you
Intertwined with your soul

To touch your face
To lay my body beside you
To feel you close to my heart again

Wake up, my love, I miss you

A.M

Let me go



Remove the dagger from my heart
Even if it tears me apart
Take out the sword
Spill my blood

What else is left
What more can I give
What else can I offer
But my life, my love

This fever I endure
My fists filled with tears
My face hot with love
My chest tight and sore

I lay in your bed of thorns
The more I move the more it hurts
My conscience tells me to stay put
But I reach out and touch you

They say you're not my pain
That I simply gave you the right
The title of king of my body
The crown for ruling my heart

But it's your sweet lips I see
When I close my eyes
It is your skin I want to touch
When I feel love inside me

I'm not as free as I claim to be
For my heart lies in your hands
Between your pride and courage
I lay waiting your soul to awaken

Remove your dagger from my heart
Even if it tears me apart
Take out your sword
Spill my blood

Let me go

A.M



Don't want to fall asleep


I don't want to fall asleep 
I know you're there
Waiting for me
Ready to embrace me 
-----
And I can't bare 
To feel you
To kiss you
I don't want you like this 
-----
I don't want to fall asleep
I know you're in my dreams 
Waiting 
Anticipating our meeting
-----
And I can't bare
To feel you
To kiss you
And wake  up alone again 
-------
A.M

No right way of conduct

There is no right way of conduct
In a world where people cultivate
Disgusting feelings such as hate,
jealousy, greed, insecurity
There's no appropriate way to act
When everyone's sickness is different

There's no proper way to be
When some are free spirits
but others are locked in cages
While some are seeking cures
And others are spreading diseases
While some are sharing unconditionally
And others are contained in self made prisons

In a world where few are fearless
And many are afraid of change and instability
You can't be too spontaneous
Too impulsive, too sweet, too loving
You must think twice before you show
Your true colors, your genuine emotion

In a world where many are filled with fear
Afraid of anything different from themselves
Afraid of looking bad in the light of your good will
Afraid of not being good enough compared to your charity
Afraid of your art because they might die
without creating anything worth remembering

There's no real way to know how to behave
When some are rooting for you to fail
While others who can help are standing by doing nothing
In a world of tortured, tamed minds
The artist is exploited and casted out
In a world of mental illnesses and spiritual diseases
Those attempting to heal themselves are outcastes

And don't you dare attempt to show your true feelings
Don't you dare esteem yourself or others "too much"
Someone is bound to dislike your freedom
Of thought
Of expression
Of love
Of ambition
Of prosperity

Don't you get too talented, too rich, too beautiful
Or they will cast you out like a leper
You see, some friends watch you like a TV series
They enjoy the first couple of seasons
They praise your thoughts, support your ideas
From behind the screen
But as soon as your ideas begin to expand
And your storyline starts to take a new turn
They will get mad, begin to criticize
Your personal decisions about your own life

When you start to go in a different direction
To challenge their beliefs
To surpass their harnessed understanding
They will withdraw, stop watching you
They will cancel you
After welcoming you into their homes
And showering you with excitement and kind words

You see,
there is no appropriate way of conduct
So be yourself
Do what you want to do
Say what you'd like to say
Scream, run, curse, confront
Give, show, heal, grow
And drive far far far away
From those standing by
Poking fun
Waiting for your show to be canceled
Rooting for you to burn

A.M

Avenger


The mirror tells me my eyes are green
Either the sun is shining in
Or I'm tearing because
I'm thinking of you

I've buried myself
Underneath my intellect
Behind my poetry
Within my books

I hid my love for you
Inside old poems
In empty futures
In places I'll never go

I've caged you
In tears that come out through sobs
In screams that escape my fingers
When I place my hand over my face
To cover the desperate cry of despair

Of longing, of shame
For wanting you
They tell me, is a disgrace

I float alone in my life boat
As I attempt to grow courage to jump
To fall into the whirlpool that surrounds me
Spinning me in circles, keeping me in distress

I run from your end
Attempting to arrive at an end
Where I can share my heart again
With a soul who doesn't cut me down

You burry yourself in the crowds
You hide in front of the lights
You cage your heart with alcohol
You float from bed to bed
Creating a means to an end

But I have no crowd to run to
No lights desiring my presence
And the water I drink doesn't numb anything
But I can't blame my pain on your ignorance
I can't ask you to save me from this vengeance
I've taken upon myself

A.M

Farewell


Farewell, my love
Sweet were the times
You made my knees weak
Pulled me in gently
And kissed my lips
Sweet were the times
You swept me off my feet
From spotting me at the gym
To dancing the night away
And cuddling the day away
Under the sheets
From kissing me at every red light
To asking me to be yours for eternity
You had a special way of flattering

Farewell
To our sweet conversations
And the sweet walks
We took in each other's heart
The journeys we embarked in thought
The dreams we created under the covers
The trips you planned for us
The fantasies we never realized
The relationship that never was
Farewell to being my muse for life

Farewell, my love
You taught me trust
The last man to take half my heart
You kept me from returning
To a soul who gave little or nothing
Compared to your generous offerings
For this I'm grateful
You made me feel wanted, desired
Worthy, satisfied, content
In your fashion, you gave to me
Gifts I'll never forget

Farewell,
Mr. Bright lights
Mr. Random visits
Mr. Ardent encounters
Mr. Numbed hips
Mr. Dapper
Mr. One and only
Mr. Never and forever

Farewell, my love
We were almost lovers
We were almost friends
Bad timing didn't allow
The trust we needed
To flourish in full
My past, your present
Your vices, my habits
My self centeredness
The lies and infidelity

Farewell,
Lover of nothing
I pray you find your way
I wish you the best of today
And if life leads you to water
Drink it, my love, trust in The Lord
Have faith in your purpose
Be the change you wish for
Our paths are different
But our hearts are one
And you carry my love
Wherever you go

Farewell, Beloved
You weren't wrong
Perhaps misunderstood
Misguided and judged
Not everyone can see
The beautiful heart you hold
And in spite our differences
I did love you
I gave you the little I had to give
And I pray it made a difference
In the person you are today
I pray you find your way
And that the unconditional love I gave
Added to your substance today

Farewell,
Boogie.

A.M




Friday, August 9, 2013

Why did I choose to love you?


I chose you because 
you were the hardest choice
I chose you because
you had the greatest potential
I chose you because 
through you God could teach me
what I needed to learn
---
I chose you because 
you challenged me
to think outside my box
to reflect on things unknown
to empty all stored knowledge 
and start over
----
I chose you because 
you didn't love yourself
and because of that 
you could teach me how 
to love Unconditionally
compassionately, selflessly
---
I loved you without expectation 
without pride, without ego
I loved you to breaking point 
and then I loved you more
I gave until it hurt
and then I bled some more
I surrendered all I was
I loved you until I was no more
I gave until my soul was poor
---
Why did I choose to love you?
---
I chose you because 
I didn't love myself
because I didn't know 
how frightened and lost I was
I chose you because 
the love I had for Christ 
needed to be reinforced
deep rooted into my soul
---
I chose you because 
the illusions I had
needed to be shattered
I chose you because 
I didn't know 
How dormant I was 
----
I chose you because 
only with you 
could I break completely
And awaken 
In Christ consciousness 

A.M