Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Calm

Maybe I'm too high,
On this love,
And you're too drunk,
To know, how to be,
Someone for someone else.

Maybe I'm too gone,
To know how to act now,
To know what I want,
From this love, now.

Maybe we're too intoxicated,
To know happiness,
Through relationships.

I could never tell,
You were always drunk to me,
I could never tell,
You were always gone to me.

But never far enough,
Never inebriated enough,
To just let go.
Can you put away the past,
And enjoy the present moment?

Impulsive and passionate,
Spontaneous and sick,
Your nature is careless,
And your passion, fueled by liquor.

Who are you when you're sober?

Never aware, always motivated,
By egotism, yet nothing you ever did,
Ever did impress your ego.

A strict disciplinarian,
I have no patience for unawareness.

Always drunk,
Never an artist,
Never a lover,
Never gifted enough
To think of pleasing another.

If I told you, you had to play my body,
Like an instrument,
Would you know how?
To play the songs of heaven's delight,
Could you figure it out?

A good lover knows his way around.
In between two melting bodies
There should be no fear,
In between two touching souls,
There should be no worries.

There should be a little death,
A complete surrender,
A total merging of body and soul.
We should be drunk
On love's nectar,
We should be faint
With breathlessness.

Burning red flames,
Igniting your entire being,
Consuming you whole,
Inciting your desires,
Fueling your fantasies.

You feel your organs pulsing,
Wanting to escape your body.
Your heart beating so fast,
It hurts against your chest.

And you love it,
Because you're there,
In the moment,
Feeling everything....

You allow someone to step into you,
Carelessly, unknowingly, scared,
You open your heart and let them in.

You trust them,
You share your heart,
You give your light.
You let them step into your soul,
You hold their hand and let them guide you.

There, deep, deep, deep inside your soul,
They tiptoe around, bruise you a bit,
You feel the pain and you love it.

The sweet bitterness,
Prompting you to stick around,
To overindulge in passion,
To oversimplify,
Your numbed emotions.

You stick around for the thrill,
Of every fight, of every night,
You anticipate their arrival,
You care about their day.

You wonder,
If they're also hiding from the rain,
Snuggled up in bed thinking of you.
You wonder,
Whether they can see the full moon.

You desire to share every moment beside them.
You ask, you give, you care.
When they walk through the door,
You embrace them.

But we won't,
Not with our stubbornness,
Not with our drunkenness,
Not with our kind of selfishness,
Not with our sick hearts.

We must lay, half awake-half alive,
Half unknowingly-half unconscious.
We must experience everything at a glance,
Small moments of happiness at a time.

"Take it one day at a time",
Oh, what great advice.
So that's what I'll do,
That's what I'll do for us,
And our bad habits,
Of hurting each other.

Sobriety of mind is the best sobriety.
I hope to know what it feels like,
To be freed from these instincts,
Killing my patience, stressing my mind,
Like I'm plugged into a clock.

Endlessly high on my dreams,
I wouldn't want to leave this drunkenness,
This peace,
Acquired through passionately dreaming.

Suffering is a way of life,
Everyday there's a war,
A Fight,
A killing,
A parting,
A sadness.
Everyday there is death,
There is battle.
Everyday there is work
For the light warriors.

The goal is not to stop suffering,
But to overcome it,
To learn how to live and create,
Despite the hardships,
In spite of the sickness.

Everyday I accept the challenges,
To conquer the mind,
To cultivate the soul.
I believe I found a serene place,
In my mind,
Where I create,
Where I inspire,
Where I love.

In a perpetual high state,
Most of my time is spent loving,
Or writing about loving,
Or being love drunk.
So I wouldnt know much.

A.M.