Saturday, July 3, 2010

Embargoed Embarking

I

In a crisp fall night the sun brought back summer
His spotlight, a halo around us
You were a dragon, in famine, cold, frozen

Your lungs cracked as your skin melted
A fog of smoke surrounded us
As my radiance melted your iceberg
That night, you set out to find a spark
A little light to start your lungs
Dissolve your frozen tongue

Before the desperate hunt could begin
The fool you didn't want
The one you never hoped to find
In the agonizing night
Found you

II

A flaming spirit with qualities of an eternal
Her eyes sparkled innocence and she smiled luminous peace
Like the eyes of a child, she filled the air with vigor
Perfectly contoured, you knew she was not for your touch
So dear and clear, so pure and true, truth, too bright for you

Her eyes gave birth to a new universe
One of compassionate beauty,
Fathered by love and peace
A place of kindness, no room for men's greed for diamonds
A new world, God's private space
She made galaxies proudly orbit around you
Mistake, God, not meant to be seen by dead tides

You shone dim that night, hid the magic tricks
All grace, hope and charm,
You suppressed wild currents and your eyes emitted tiny waves
From afar, a translucently hiding human
Then I saw, my eyes freed your currents

The lure of your blue, above all seas, fantasy waves drowned me
Dark and deep, gray stones surrounded your beach
I saw you but I didn't see
Bold and conceited, too assured to fear the weak

I made a request I knew you wouldn't refuse
More of your sound, more time, mere minutes
I took you, to have by, I took you
Took you home

III

You believed a woman's fire could kill
And refused to bother with the ones whose flames could revive
You wrapped your hands around my waste
Swung me round and side to side
Your touch, soft and precise
Each finger played a note on my body
We moved in sync
Together we formed the perfect symphony

In your embrace I was a harp
And you made me sound divine
Sweet notes you made me scream
The talented player, the controlled instrument
The passion, the devils divine perfection
Together, we created the sweetest sound
You span me round and round
Enfolded in your cold wings I was your dragon's heart
A doll, so light, so perfect

IV

You took heat from their flesh
Just enough to spark a match
You gave no essence
And made it clear you wished the same
Starvation made you weak
With blurry vision you saw me
You set your head between my chest and looked up into my eyes
I couldn't bear the lonely sorrow in your blue sky
I gave you my light!

Darkness followed me home that night
It knew I was naked without you
I felt the night's grief creeping into me
But it was just your after feeling

V

Dumb doll
Uncontrollable claws of fire
Tearing through her flesh
Dragon frost kept me alive
Turned off the light in me
Freezing insides
Your touch, hotter than the moon's spot light
Sun dove in
Kisses, tight but slowly
Tongues licked off my innocent
Yours gave it back
The holy sensation of evil
You brought it back
All nature in one
All pleasure but always uncontained
Pain, trails of fear
Crawling throughout me

Demons shutting all doors
Frost infernal
Flaming stones of ice
Bright, burning black frost
The laughs
The faces we ripped
No, don't remember
I can feel your twisted tricks-

VI

I am not Immortal
But I am human enough to be unforgettable
Try, understand the waves of despair
My eyes generate through your mind
Believe in the spark of my touch
Igniting all that is rotten in your body

I stayed for the flames
For the fire you insist on putting out
All is possible when we touch
I am sure if we tried it in open air
We would float
Unusual, uncontrollable
Apologies are familiar
You feel it but you can't distinguish
I am your creation, a particle of your imagination
Made by magical fairies you hold at your command
I would mutate to survive in your world
With You is the only place I would escape to
Give up my celebrated solitude and grow horns with you
I remember what you stole from me that night
More than a kiss -a soul
every instant of my life, every memory,
every breath- you made your own
keep the peace you stole from me
So that I'll always feel your misery

VII

In a feud
It's been years
Since we've been running towards
And fighting against this demon
We can't understand it
So we give it to others
We can't control our passion
so we refuse it, refute it, prostitute it
We can't talk, so we kiss
We can't kiss, so we quietly leave
Silence seems to be our ally
And Love our Trojan horse
You fear it as if it were leper
And I embrace it as if it were my cross and I, Jesus

Months of silence
And minutes of total alliance
Without any pretense that we parted
Making plans to feel each other
In our world of make believe
In text all is possible between you and me
We simply do not acknowledge the grief
We are silly kids
Proud and empty
Wasting gifts we cannot replace
Exasperating feelings
Playing down the inevitable

Love has a pull on you and me
We feel
But only one sees
We want to touch
But our strings won't let us reach.

A.M



It’s not what you told me

It’s not what you told me
It’s what I told myself
I’m the only one who sees
They stand against you and me
What is it that enchants me
Transcends me
Eludes my limbic
Defeats reason
I want what I envision
What is it that I do not see
A beauty that could blind me
With you is where I’ll be
I’m reaching, you’re smiling
Standing still or hiding
Pull me up or let me go
To free fall in love
To live
To grow
It’s not what you asked
It’s what I’ve given
Untamed passion
Romantic expression
Unveiled purpose
Helpless, held
I can’t see myself
Forgotten behind bars
What a waste of heart
It’s not what you told me
It’s what I dreamed
That hunts my spirit
Memories float through my mind
From morning to night
I need you right now
For better or worse
To forgive and forget
Embrace your sickness
Be your everything
Who I thought you’d be
What you couldn’t believe
Who you ‘re not makes me
Completes me
If not forever than for a moment
I remember what you told me
But it’s what I told myself that hurts me

A.M

2010.