Now battle scarred we try again
To be the winner in this deadly game
Well, I can only speak for myself
I`m tired, fading like picked flowers
A ghost of war, of a time pride was glorified
And I played your heart like monopoly
Buying your bullshit and selling my soul
To spite you, to make you hurt
And in that I was victorious
For a little while or so
Until you caught on and changed your heart`s address
After you left I fought again, and lost again, and again
The kind hearted men
But also the selfish self destructive martyr
I`ve wasted years trying
Gained wisdom but grew cold with the lessons
I`ve stopped fighting
I watch now, watch their dreams die in the cold war
From a lonely, scared place
Where I claim to be fearless but I`m really afraid
Afraid I can`t let go
Afraid I won`t ever love the way I loved your heart and soul
Afraid of the pain, the bittersweet memories of me and you
Kissing in the park
Holding hands in my car, gazing into your cold blue eyes
These memories come to life
Rage war inside me, the fierce passion, the drunk love
If I listened to logic I`d be married by now
With a daughter and two sons
I`ve picked names for them all
But I`m unsure if they`ll ever be born
I`ve chosen the place I want to settle
But don`t know if I`ll ever make it home
For I refuse to play the game
I`m done fighting and pretending this is working
We are history repeating itself
And I want to stop this deadly cycle, but I can`t
I can`t stop this wheel from turning
These people from cheating their chosen path
Breaking their sworn vows, deserting their loved ones
Divorcing their soul health
And I will stay out of this war game for as long as I can
Even if you`re still playing in it
Losing yourself with random women
And maybe when you`re done fighting
You'll look for me again
Find me, love me, and hold my hand
A.M
