Velha Infancia

Você é assim:
Um sonho pra mim
E quando eu não te vejo,
Eu penso em você
Desde o amanhecer
Até quando eu me deito.

Eu gosto de você
E gosto de ficar com você.
Meu riso é tão feliz contigo.
O meu melhor amigo é o meu amor.

E a gente canta
E a gente dança
E a gente não se cansa
De ser criança.
A gente brinca
Na nossa velha infância.

Seus olhos, meu clarão,
Me guiam dentro da escuridão.
Seus pés me abrem o caminho;
Eu sigo e nunca me sinto só.

Você é assim:
Um sonho pra mim;
Quero te encher de beijos.
Eu penso em você
Desde o amanhecer
Até quando eu me deito.

Eu gosto de você
E gosto de ficar com você.
Meu riso é tão feliz contigo...
O meu melhor amigo é o meu amor.

E a gente canta
E a gente dança
E a gente não se cansa
De ser criança.
A gente brinca
Na nossa velha infância.

Seus olhos, meu clarão,
Me guiam dentro da escuridão.
Seus pés me abrem um caminho;
Eu sigo e nunca me sinto só.
Você é assim: Um sonho pra mim.
Você é assim...
Você é assim: um sonho pra mim.
Você é assim...

Marisa Monte

Slow and Steady

Little by little, inch by inch
Straightedge, steady
I move forward
I might look stagnant at times
But I'm moving very slowly

The earth is round
Running around
Will eventually lead me back home
Home where I was born
Home where I was raised
Home where I escaped to
Home where I choose to live

The journey is within
So I move slow
To understand the present
To appreciate each moment
To embrace pain
To surpass fears
To realize dreams
So I don't have to return
To this old world again

The only way you'll meet me
Is if you make a you-turn
For you move very fast
Too fast for me to reach you
Too fast to accept the love
I was sent here to give you

A.M

Naked Without You

I woke up bare
Your body missing from mine
My lips craving your kiss
My skin wanting your tongue

I woke up nude
Wanting your soul
Asking for your touch
Needing your love

I woke up undressed
Bare without your tender skin
Unclothed without your robe of passion
Naked without your blanket of pleasure

A.M

Aries Moon

Aries Moon

Filled with beauty
Full of life
Your piercing gaze
Your distinctive eyes
Your charming smile
Your wild energy
Arousing the senses
Inciting passion

Your stormy spirit
Your creative mind
Your howling heart
Calling my name
Welcoming my body
To your feast

A part of me knows you
So well
So familiar
Feels like I've had you
I've drank you
I swallowed
The dark side of you
But a part of me knows
You're new, intense, original
Spontaneous, passionate
Unknown--dangerous

A part of me sees
The potential for pleasure
A part of me knows
The pain involved
In wanting
In struggling
To let go from ecstasy

And wholeheartedly
I am moved
Motivated
Persuaded by a ghost
A shadow that follows
Every man I touch
A contrast of a lover
I died for

To move this heart
To shake this soul
To motivate these legs
To walk towards you
Would take more
More than you can give
More than either of us
Are willing to share

To know
We walk similar paths
To feel
We seek similar goals
Puts a smile on my face
Gives my heart hope
Hope
I'm moving forward
Hope
I've resuscitated feelings
Killed by unfeeling strength

Here
Depth and vanity meets
Here
Compassion and selfishness
Kiss
Here in my mind
Body and soul
Strength and weakness
Are one
I am you, you are me
Here
Is where you are challenged
To be the best you'll ever be

A.M

Thoughts...

Some things in life aren't for everyone, certain things are only achieved by those with enough courage to attain them. Don't worry about those who underestimate you, those who feel betrayed by you, they haven't experienced the real you, they can't see your soul potential. Only you know how far you can go, how high you can reach, how much you can achieve. It's up to you, you are what you create, you do what you believe. Some people can only see your shadow, your shell, your superficial presence in this world. Appreciate the few who can see into your heart, the ones who can feel your soul, who accept and celebrate the beautiful person you are.

A.M

If I

If I told you my dreams
Would you dream with me
Would you respect my feelings
Would you grant me my wishes
Would you allow my desires
My fantasies to come to life
Would you give me your time
If I told you how I feel
Would you embrace it
Would you open your heart
And show me your emotions
If I told you I wasn't happy
That I didn't feel secure
Would you change
Would you try
Would you show me
How much I mean to you
If I told you I wanted more
Would you stay
Would you reciprocate
Would you give your heart
Would you spend your nights with me
If I told you my dreams
Would you dream with me

A.M

A Beautiful Mind

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

Charlie Chaplin

Complexities

The complexities of each soul hidden inside a chest of pain, ready to be unveiled by minds ready to endure the suffering that comes with awareness and truth, concealed within your heart the purest love, invisible to the eye but deeply felt by the touch that is able to share the same love.

A.M

Be Love, Give Love

How many have smiled because of you today? How many faces have you kissed, how many bodies have you embraced, how many minds have you inspired, how many lives have you improved, how many souls are grateful for you? How many eyes look upon you for strength, how many look to you for inspiration, motivation? How many hearts have you touched? How many have told you they've felt your love, your heart, your mind, your spirit overflowing with love and filling their hearts with joy? How many smiles have you inspired? If you helped generate one smile today, if you have made one soul feel loved, if you have helped one stranger or loved one, you have succeeded, you have grown in love and helped someone else grow too. Give love everyday.

A.M

Honor your Divinity

We are not living unless we are growing everyday, our spirits were meant to be cultivated, as divine beings we must nourish our soul with love. We are creators, masters of our life, we create our pain, we make our joy, with every thought, every decision, every feeling we claim to feel. Be wise when creating, make positive loving feelings and silence the negative thoughts by not speaking them, not manifesting anger, criticism, contempt, and making it a reality. Everyday is a new beginning, a new chance to be our best. Choose love everyday, express yourself always, set your spirit free, let your blessed soul shine bright, let nothing and no one bring you down, you were born to create and be loved. Honor your divinity, think and act with love.

A.M

Transformation

The only reality I know is that of transformation through pain.
There must be discomfort for change to happen.
Pain is always present, sometimes it's numbed but it's ever present whether you choose to change and grow or stay the same.
Your personal pain might manifest in the form of self judgment, insecurity, jealousy, hatred, greed, self destruction, obsessions, compulsive disorders, illnesses, etc.
When negative thoughts about yourself or others arise think twice and analyze, try to get to the root of it, there might be an underlying reason, you might be experiencing suffering and masking it by criticizing and judging those around you. If everyone invested their complete energy into loving and cultivating their mind, body and soul there wouldn't be room left for judgment and criticism. Love yourself, don't worry about what others are doing, it's not your business and you don't have any control over it.

Love is what we are, what we share when we give of ourselves,
when we feel with our hearts.
Love is you, being still, in the present,
love is what we experience when we appreciate our soul and that of others

We are all artists, we are all able to create. I am a Poet because I have chosen to be. In one form or another most people can do the same, they can turn a negative into a positive if they choose to. We, writers, have figured out how, we have created a style, a pattern of thought, we have experienced so much emotion, we have felt so much, we have drowned ourselves in desire, in want, in love, so so much that we invented a form of expression, an art, a way to illustrate our experience, to share it, to empty it into something other than ourselves, for God knows it's too much to be contained within us.

It took a long time to get here, to find my place, to create a world I'm happy with, a place I'm comfortable in, a space where I can be my entire self in.
I'm feeding from good sources, I'm creating with love, I'm thinking positively, I'm loving myself, cultivating inner beauty and health.
The outer appearance is the manifestation of what's going on inside, you can see poetry in my eyes, on my skin the glow of a divine love perspiring.
I'm the most patient person I know, probably because I ruminate so much, I think twice, three times before I act. I practice remaining still, keeping my thoughts calm, silencing desire, frustration, anxiety.
I'm blessed to be able to exercise my relentless, persevering determined will power to achieve anything and everything.
I have figured out how to use my body, mind and spirit, and so can you. Practicing compassion, patience, forgiveness, creates peace, eliminates stress, generates love.

I let go of my worries and impulsive thoughts of today to create what I want to become.
My past fuels me with strength and knowledge but it also interferes with today, which is why I must feed on the wisdom it taught me and let go of the bad habits I picked up because of it. So in spite of the painful experiences and impulsive habits that come with having a past I choose to move forward overcoming all that I feel is negative, ignoring all non productive desires, leaving behind all the comforting habits and plunging into the future with everything I've got.

Now lets go to work!

A.M

Two days from now

The bittersweet moment
When I watch your body leave
Aware I'll feel your absence
Within thirty minutes of you leaving
Knowing that I'll start to crave you
In about two and a half days
That's when I'll begin to go insane
Wondering where you are
What you're doing
Where you been
"Do you think you could ever be mine?"
I am yours, love.
"You're mine now"
Could you ever be mine, only mine?
"Yes"
And I can't follow with nothing else
I can't make promises
I can't lie and pretend I know
That forever is in store for us
But I hate to watch you leave
It hurts to see you go
I'm dreading two days from now
For my heart will start calling
My body will start asking
My mind will begin to go crazy
Wanting to see you, hear you
Smell you, taste you, feel you
"I hate to leave you"
Then stay!
"Two days from now
I'll meet you wherever you are"

A.M

Sovereign

I can feel it coming
A breeze rustling the leafs
A wind whipping the branches on the trees
I can feel the air swirling at my feet
The men throwing petals on my grave
Seeing me wave goodbye before I walk away

I can feel it in the air
A cold chill enveloping me
They're prophesying a love
A man that has been waiting
And creating
Cultivation his soul wealth
Preparing his heart for me

I can feel it coming
In the faces of the men
In the lips I kissed
I've tasted traces of forever
Of a divine nectar
And each hand that touched me
Was missing a nerve
A fearlessness
A passion
A surrender

And every heart I loved
Could not contain me
Their souls failed to sustain me
Their minds didn't stimulate me
So I reclaimed sovereignty
To create, to inspire, to seek
A beauty that can reflect me
A hand that can hold me
A soul that recharges me
Refills me with the love I give

Sometimes I find this man inside me
I pray to him to strengthen and guide me
And through my struggles he loves me
He grips me by my heart
He takes ahold of my soul and inspires me
And that's when I know I'm sovereign
Complete with god's love inside me
And I realize that all I'm seeking is within me
Ready to teach and motivate me

Thank you, Soul
Thank you, God,
Thank you, Heavens
For waking me early
For blessing me with purpose
A gift, a talent
That pleases and teaches
That loves and reaches
The broken, battered fighters
The seekers of beauty and light
Thank you for the potential
To grow and enlighten

All I need I have
All I seek I am
All I love loves me

A.M

In and out of bliss

The sour taste
Of everything you can't have
The sweet flavor of satisfaction
Without promise of tomorrow

The fear causing desperation
The impulse to leave
With or without you
My soul is moving on

To turn away
To forget
To exclaim, "I don't need you,
I can live without you"

As the years fly by
As I get older
Goodbye gets easier
And colder

Can I live with you
Do you fit my future
With your past ghosts
And feelings and hurt
I suppose no one will
No one but a baby
Comes with no scars

Can I live with who you are
How you think
What you do, what you say
How you operate
Can I survive in your world
The way you love
Am I happy with what you give
I don't know

And the sour taste in my mouth
The bittersweet memories
Of an assassin, a double agent
I wonder if it's really you
That I'm giving my love to
Or a lost wolf
Using my soul as refuge
Are you hiding inside me
Am I paradise to you
Do you vacation in my heart
Am I your escape from "hell"

I binge on impulsive thoughts
I wonder if I should tell you
Makes me sick to forget you
I wonder if you can see
The road is ending

But it must be done
I'm brushing the sour taste
From my heart
Your sweet flavor from my tongue
I don't need it
I can live without it

A.M

Is it Love

Is it love
If you can't shout it
If you can't claim it
Is it love
If you must keep quiet
Savor the moments
And lock the memories
Inside your heart's locker

Is it love
If no one knows
If you're a wanderer
A kindred spirit
A unicorn
Is it love
When you write it
When I create poems about us

Is it love
If you can hear it
Streaming from the heart
When we lay and talk for hours
And I welcome all your stories
For I love to hear your voice

Is it love
If you can touch it
When I feel his nude skin
Grazing my naked body
When my lips are glued to him
And we're enfolded in each other

It is love
When you can absorb it
When his energy enters me
Through the palms of my hands
When I massage his skin
It is love
When you can taste it
When I savor his lips
As a divine meal
And eat love when we kiss

It is love
When you can bathe in it
When he invigorates my soul
Melting into me
Deep inside my spirit
It is love
When you lose your head
When he's moaning away
Loving me so hard
He gets lightheaded

Is it love
When the odds are against us
When there are fighting forces
Is it love
When we're both beloved
Harassed by obsessed lovers
Is it love
When we're both broken
Battered by our past
Drunk from old emotions

It is love
When we contemplate our future
Our tall athletic daughter
With big green eyes
And a beautiful behind
It is love
When we compare our past disasters
And find humor in our tragedies
Is it love
When we don't lust for sex
But make love beneath the sheets

Is it love
When I feel rejuvenated
When your legs are weak and shaking
And you trip over my things
Is it love
When we find it all amusing
Compose songs about our loving
And laugh like we're little kids
Is it love
When you share your past adventures
And let me deep inside your head
Is it love
When you tell me everything
When we find beauty in anything
And you never want to leave

Is it love
When you inspire me to grow
In the spiritual and the practical
I create thinking of you
Is it love
When you're deep inside of me
Dwelling in my future
And I don't want you to leave

It is love

A.M

Stop the Pain

If you think you know it all, you've seen it all, you've felt it all, then it's time to empty your cup and start over, for it probably means that you've accumulated too much bullshit that's blurring your vision, clouding your feelings and depriving your living.

You don't have to ingest the stress and suffering of slaughtered animals to build muscle, you can be a vegan and build as much muscle as you want, it just takes proper nutrition and hard work.

It is a myth that you must eat meat to develop muscle, you don't have to harm your mind, body and spirit. Meat from slaughter houses have deadly antibiotics, cancerous toxic chemicals, stress from the tortured animals that can wire you for stress, and suffering that is absorbed by your soul and takes from your humanity and sensibility. Eating meat from animals that lived under stress and died in agonizing pain takes from your mental, physical and spiritual health. Attain peace of mind, spiritual health, a heart filled with joy, a stress free life. Make the choice! Watch the documentary "Earthlings" it's free on YouTube, it will help you start eating healthier.

Respect the Soul

The soul is graceful,
free, enlightened,
the soul is pure, energy,
flexible, sensible,
the soul is loving, compassionate, beautiful,
the soul is the artist in you.
Awake to your soulful existence
and experience life without ego,
without guilt, without fear,
without hurt, without pride.
Selflessness is a gift
you give to yourself,
it saves you worry, it cures stress,
to give without expectancy of reward.
I love you
and I don't need you to love me
but simply to accept that I love your spirit in spite of your mental struggle.
I love you and I forgive you
for judging me.

A.M

Take Flight

You don't need to be an angel to have wings,
you don't need wings to fly,
I fly with no wings, I fly without body.
The more you judge yourself and others the more you ground yourself.
You're no different than anyone else.
There's no such thing as young and old souls,
that is like saying that one drop in the ocean is older than another.
You're not better or more precious than any other being.
We all have the same soul quality, we all share the same potential.
I am not an angel because I've chosen to cultivate my artistic,
compassionate, spiritual side, I am just like everyone else,
with the same ability, the same brain, the same soul.
Don't let anyone tell you any different,
you are a pure spirit made of love and light and you can do with it whatever you like.
Your ideas, your perception, your habits, your discipline makes you who you are.
Be strong, be love, be the best you can be!

A.M

Heaven's Plan

Waiting for the day when my desire to succeed in this world
surpasses my desire to go home.
Waiting for the day I'll embrace this existence
and the souls trembling around me.
Will there ever come a day when I won't long for the unknown,
the mysterious, my eternal home.
Animals, humans, tortured, killed,
emotional, physical, spiritual illnesses, unnecessary famine,
greed, preventable diseases, sick egos.
Take me home, these humans don't want a healthy world,
they simply want temporary relief and satisfaction,
unawareness, superficial happiness.
Take me home!
And then my father says,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child, see heaven's got a plan for you"

Keep your faith,
there are few but enough of us to change this planet into a compassionate world,
there's enough of us to bring peace and love to the lonely,
the blind, the dark hearts.
Stay positive! Heavens' got a plan for you!

A.M

Be Love Able

In my heartbreak I chose love, compassion, unconditional love, I chose God and faith and purpose, and that comforted my heart and made me a refined soul. It's not about the people who come into our life, it's not about what they do, how they act, it's about how we react, how we treat ourselves everyday. If you choose love you'll grow rich in love, and a rich soul is never lacking love. When we love ourselves and others we don't crave or need anyone, any love, but love is attracted to us from every corner of the world, souls recognize our ability to be love and embrace our spirits with pure love and light. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to love a fool, it made me even more lovable. I'm stronger, healthier, inspired and intolerant to sadness and negative behaviors or persons. Learn from your struggles, move forward with your head up. Don't hold grudges, leave those who you've hurt, leave those who have hurt you. Move forward, love yourself first and foremost! Be sovereign!

A.M

Follow your Heart

“Talents are best nurtured in solitude, but character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world”

I was born an artist, we all were.
Somewhere while I was developing, growing, I chose to see the world with compassionate love. I've been writing poems since I was six years old, it's the way I express my passion for life, how I describe the beauty I see and experience. I choose to see and cultivate the love in everyone I meet, I try my best not to judge myself and others. I stay away from pessimistic, judgmental personalities, for those who do not love themselves will always bring you down with their self hatred. I am blessed, I am loving, I am Amanda, Beloved Poet, Hardworking Athlete, Caring Friend, Loving Daughter and Compassionate stranger. My present and future is blessed with joy and serenity, I fear nothing and I steer clear of fearing souls, for they not only deprive themselves of love but dim your spirit too. Be yourself, follow your heart!

A.M

Entertain Peace

I'm not here to critique, to judge, to argue and debate.
I'm here to love, to be fearless, to follow my heart and inspire you to follow yours.
I'm not preparing to do anything, I'm doing what I came here to do.
I am loving, I am being loved, and there is nothing to affirm, there is nothing to protest,
there is nothing to prove or protest.
I am here to create, to share beauty, and so are you.
We live in a world where the privileged are the most judgmental,
where those who were given everything criticize and put down the ones born in struggle.
This snobbish behavior creates fear and separation between souls,
this lack of humanity and compassion hurts both the privileged and unprivileged souls,
creating violence and retaliation.
You want to help the world? Quit being scared, stop judging, start loving.
You're not better, you're not worse, we're equal.
The illusion, the ego delusion, the materialism, the need for unnecessary luxury are killing the animals, the forests, the people.
The destructive fearsome ego is destroying the planet,
creating war and catastrophe.
Follow your heart, be love, be fearless,
save the forests, save the people, save earth.
Let the God inside you rule your heart.
Create positive energy, don't repeat the negative actions you see around you,
don't praise destructive behavior,
don't scorn, don't criticize, let the bad energy die, don't give it life.
Focus on the love in your heart, on being the best you can be,
let your divine existence reign.

A.M

Challenged Sovereignty

"Anyone can combine words so that they rhyme,
But you are the reason that we talk at all."

My soul attracts yours,
I like being close to your spirit,
It embraces me and gives me love.

"You make me happy, I enjoy my time with you"

So stimulating, so warm, so soothing, so delicious....
Ahhh...I can taste it, feel it, smell it,
Though you're not here, you're in my senses.

"You make me feel like a man when you kiss me"

Let the poetry begin, spring from my soul, pour out of my heart,
Perspire through memories and fantasies to come.

"I am a tough shell to break"

The spirit is pure light, my soul enters as it pleases,
Without scarring, without hurting, without breaking.
The mind may make you believe you are limited,
You may think you're tough,
But your spirit is pure love and I dance inside it.

"I think you and I were meant for each other,
But in the future"

Our kiss, our lips fit so well,
Napping in your arms,
Waking up in a hot embrace
Making love hard and deep and sweet.

And as he gets dressed to leave he says,
"I'm leaving town, as soon as I get this job,
You can come with me if you want"

And all my responsibilities come to mind,
All my worries, insecurities surface,
And my heart tightens with the thought
That someday soon will be the last time
I'll feel his touch.

"Would you come with me?
Would you move?
You wouldn't, would you?"

My love and beauty is for healing,
I take none on my journey.
I share my soul while traveling,
Shifting through this existence,
Shining my light into the hearts
That allow an opening
For love to enter and inspire.

"A rich man will find you,
He'll take you away from here.
I'm lucky, I'm just a lucky man
Who gets to have you right now"

If my love resonating inside your heart
For the rest of your life is luck,
Then you are lucky.

"I wish I could buy us plane tickets,
Take you away to Paris,
Stay at a luxurious hotel,
Buy you the best dinner,
Show you how much I appreciate your presence"

The bittersweet pleasure and confusion
Of a touch that takes you outside yourself
And into the essence of someone else.

Our insecurity and fear
Makes us look with judgment and disbelief.
We must shut the mind to see with soul,
Bringing art into life
And turning life into art.

I won't say that I miss you,
I don't have the right to ask you to stay,
I can't even say that I love you,
I just know that we fit so well,
So good when we're together.

I'll probably go out of my way
To see you, to hug you,
To kiss you, to taste you,
To dress you in beauty once more.

And no one can blame me for loving,
For being weak with lust,
But I know that I may be punished
For wanting what belongs to another soul.

A.M

Sovereign

The stronger I become
The less tolerance I have for weakness
The more strength I build
The less patience I grant to the weak

As I grow more compassionate
I strongly despise judgment
As I love unbiasedly
I pity those who feel discriminately

As I achieve sovereignty
I become disgusted by fear
As I follow my heart
I can't bare those traveling lost

And my impatience
My intolerance
My disgust
Is there to set me apart
And make sure I don't get off course

A.M

Surrender

I walked you out
I kissed you goodbye
I saw you walking away
How can you still be here
Inside me

I feel a quiet peace
A stillness in my mind
A calmness in my heart
Oblivious to the noise outside
My soul is still
My thoughts are you

My heart begins to beat again
I feel your absence
I'm aware of my loneliness
I guess this is what it feels
To fall
This is what it feels
To have half a heart

You're here
On my sweaty skin
On my smudged makeup
In my messy hair
And I can't get myself
To wash
To clean you off

My face warms to your touch
My skin glows when we kiss
My hair loves the pull of your hands

Your spirit enters my body
When you make love to me
I tremble, I melt in rapture

My flesh, my towels, my bed sheets
Everything smells like you
You're here
You're everywhere
You've touched
Everywhere we made love

You're here
You're in me
In my soul
In my heart
In my thoughts

And
I'm allowing
I'm welcoming
I'm surrendering

I'm loving
I'm loving
I'm loving again

A.M

New Love

You say you like my company
That you smile when you're with me
You look forward to seeing my face
And you really like my kiss
You say I'm a nice girl
And you'll be a good boy with me

I'd be naive to believe
And I know I shouldn't see you
Shouldn't let you in my life
With the baggage that you bring
I'm going against my principles
Curiosity has the best of me

We haven't spent much time alone
But we talk and laugh when we do
You're interested in my thoughts
When I talk you listen endearingly
And you don't rush to touch me
You respect my space and body

We've been on a few dates
I'm learning about your demons
I let you talk most of the time
While I stare into your eyes
You said you wanted to kiss
So I gave you the opportunity

I was suspended in the air
As your hand took ahold of my neck
Running your fingers through my hair
You gripped me softly and pulled me in
Caressing my face
You parted my lips with your thumb

You brought your face to my face
Lifted my arms above my head
Held my face with both hands
And kissed me tenderly, patiently
I leaned my body against yours
And let you swallow me whole

That was our first kiss
One of many that night
Since then I've seen you again
We drove to a beautiful park
The stars were out, the air was chilly
You held me tight and kissed me

I love the smell of your neck
The softness of your hair
Between my fingers
Kissing, caressing your face
Your tender, luscious lips
I can never get enough

Anticipating our clothes coming off
Feeling your warm body against my naked skin
Waiting for the moment your hands will slide up
And down my entire body
Pressing, caressing, holding, savoring
Kissing every inch of me

A.M

Knowing, Desiring, Fantasizing

When we love
The simple knowing, desiring, fantasizing
Is enough
To know love was exchanged
To desire memories gone
To fantasize future encounters
To remember touching hearts

The light of your spirit shining into my life
Your eyes glowing looking into mine
Your naked body opening in a smile
Your firm touch relaxing my tense body
The weight of your stress on my breasts
Pressuring my chest, opening my heart again

Your scent on my skin, your sweat on my pillow
The flavor of your kiss on my lips
Your essence resonating sensitivity
Your echo presence between my legs
Giving me goose bumps still
The tiredness that reminds me
You were here, all day, all night, you are here

This desire that lingers with me
The knowing, desiring, fantasizing
But if I never see you again
I won't be wanting, I won't be needing
For when you were here
I possessed you completely
I gave it all, I took it all

Love, light, illusion
Heart, soul, mind
Body, limbs, legs, arms
Belly, breasts, nipples, neck
Nose, lips, tongue, eyes, ears
Elbows, knees, nails, hairs
Every part, every organ, everything

I gave it all, I let you in
With love and caution
You felt my heart and gave me feeling
My entire being consumed completely
Everything, everything
I opened up, I shared with you
Everything, everything

I gave and I took
Gave love, took spiritual burden
Gave kisses, took mental worries
Gave body, took physical pleasure
Gave touch, took lasting emotion
I gave and I took
Gave what was mine and took what was yours


And if I never see you again
I won't be wanting, I won't be needing
For when you were here
I gave my all, I took it all
I fed my hunger, satisfied my pleasure
I took what I wanted and let you possess me
Completely

And if I never see you again
I'll live satisfied, knowing, desiring, fantasizing
I'll live content with the knowledge
That I resonate inside your body
With the desire of pleasureful memories
With the fantasy that makes me believe
I made love with you


A.M

"I am" Not Yours

Some see souls as shiny objects
Ready to be possessed
They try to buy your spirit
Strive to attain the essence you transmit
They use their resources
To get inside your body
To add you to their belongings

And then they come across my heart
Shining, glowing in the darkness
Emitting light, professing love
And they say, "I must have her,
I need to possess her"

And they fail in their quest
To trap an image
To hold a soul
In their tiny slippery hands
Perspiring cold sweat
And fear and hurt

They fail miserably
While trying to hold
Pure light, pure love
In decomposing bodies
In broken ideas of affection
They fail miserably
While trying to chain me
To reflect me as their own

You see, my love
Is made of Ishtar's soul
It burns with divine presence
Hands and mouths
Could never hold or taste
The miracle that is "I"
Eyes and minds cannot see
The revelation that is "I";
Realized spirit!
Born of Ishtar
Blessed by consciousness
My love blinds the fool

"I" cannot be owned
"I" shall never be possessed
For "I am God"
Manifested in a body
Of beauty and infectious affection

A.M

In Insecurity Lies The Eternal

We are history repeating itself

Now battle scarred we try again

To be the winner in this deadly game

Well, I can only speak for myself

I`m tired, fading like picked flowers

A ghost of war, of a time pride was glorified

And I played your heart like monopoly

Buying your bullshit and selling my soul

To spite you, to make you hurt

And in that I was victorious

For a little while or so

Until you caught on and changed your heart`s address

After you left I fought again, and lost again, and again

The kind hearted men

But also the selfish self destructive martyr

I`ve wasted years trying

Gained wisdom but grew cold with the lessons

I`ve stopped fighting

I watch now, watch their dreams die in the cold war

From a lonely, scared place

Where I claim to be fearless but I`m really afraid

Afraid I can`t let go

Afraid I won`t ever love the way I loved your heart and soul

Afraid of the pain, the bittersweet memories of me and you

Kissing in the park

Holding hands in my car, gazing into your cold blue eyes

These memories come to life

Rage war inside me, the fierce passion, the drunk love

If I listened to logic I`d be married by now

With a daughter and two sons

I`ve picked names for them all

But I`m unsure if they`ll ever be born

I`ve chosen the place I want to settle

But don`t know if I`ll ever make it home

For I refuse to play the game

I`m done fighting and pretending this is working

We are history repeating itself

And I want to stop this deadly cycle, but I can`t

I can`t stop this wheel from turning

These people from cheating their chosen path

Breaking their sworn vows, deserting their loved ones

Divorcing their soul health

And I will stay out of this war game for as long as I can

Even if you`re still playing in it

Losing yourself with random women

And maybe when you`re done fighting

You'll look for me again

Find me, love me, and hold my hand



A.M

Power

The power of letting it be
The strength to accept
Life as it is
And not as you think it should be

The power to change
To cultivate your awareness
To succeed spiritually
To become a full being
Filled with emotion and dreams

The power to be
Great
Giving
Forgiving

The power to love one another
To wish love upon each other

The power to see
Deep inside your soul
The power to heal and move on
The power to create, to mentor, educate
The power to desire, to dream, to inspire
The power of your hands and your sweat
And your blood
That's who I am
That's who you are
That's what we are together

Powerful

A.M

Echoes

Echoes of past dialogue,
Shadowed by a past lover,
Your presence continues
To follow my emotions.
Memories of the past
Won't let me enjoy the present,
How can it be any different?

I get what I want
But It’s never enough,
So I chase you around
Through my life’s playground.
And you seem to be calm
But inside you are raging,
Bottled emotions, unsatisfied lust,
Unfulfilled fantasies stuck in traffic.

You had me, don’t need me,
Long to deceive me,
So the past becomes the present
And the present the past.

Unawareness blinds us,
Keeps us busy projecting an image.
I tried my hardest to forget,
I moved away,
Accepted a fiancée,
I dreamt a new love,
Traded truth for security.

But why kiss lips
If not the most perfect?
And why hold hands
If not the warmest?
Why go through life
Without letting you know
You belong to my soul.

Our past consumes our love,
Stirs up hate in our blood.
I need not be near to understand,
I get what you don’t want me to know.

And when they hold me
I feel your grip,
Where they loved me
I’ve only been once or twice,
Don’t really care for attention
If not that of your eyes.

So If you don’t care
Than I'm not flaunting,
No need for a spotlight
If you’re not looking.
Can our love make it through
The affairs, the abuse?
Then let the dreams
We conceived breath,
You’re killing me
In dreams of the past
In present disguise.

I reach for your hands,
Cling to your smile,
And wish for a present
With you by my side.

A.M

When I'm Loving You

My expression changes
Everytime I think of you,
My mind changes
When you say you want me too,
My heart changes
When I admit to loving you,
My soul changes
When you want to see me too,
My life changes
When your arms surround me,
My feelings change
Every time you leave without me,
I change
From loving to not so loving.
My soul burns
In flames when I entertain
The thought of us together again.
My heart changes,
My mind changes,
Life changes,
When I'm loving you.

A.M

Out of Sight

To love a man without vision,
To fancy a mind that can't envision,
To want a heart of numbed emotions,
To feel a soul that's been silenced.

To know passion,
To have experienced pure love
With a man who chases his tail.

I'm out of time,
Been out of lies,
I only deceived you
To leave you,
Thought I could escape from feeling,
Thought you'd always hurt me,
Thought this love could destroy me,
And it did, for a while it did.

I met with sorrow and regret
When I realized I shouldn't have left.

I stopped running,
I started focusing,
On the real things--
The love in my heart,
The plants in my garden,
The foods that heal my body,
The dreams that fuel my passion,
The friends who knock on my door.

My blood,
My family,
My talent,
My purpose,
My fitness,
Strengthens my faith in a cure,
That I can live free of wanting you.

When I think I've ran you out of my mind
You appear in my heart,
Gently resting in my soul,
Charming enough to make me write a poem
And listen to songs that commemorate us.

Tattooed in my soul with the few hearts I know,
You're here with everything I've seen
And all the things you showed.
I keep it all inside me in case you ever ask to see.
From time to time I pretend to move on,
For everything I want and love lies inside a closed soul.

A.M

Lagrimas de Sangue

"Love is sad, sympathetic and respectful."
"Passion is joyous, confident and in the moment."

Then you are passion and I am love.

You let me know,
You didn't want me to need you,
So I freed myself
And now I dont need anything anymore.

You miss my warmth,
You miss my touch,
You miss the intensity
Running through my body.

My consciousness,
My chestiness,
My love for art,
My perseverance,
Always drives you back.

My affectionate nature
That taught you so much,
My touch anywhere, anytime,
My love, my tears,
Always ready to forgive.

I miss everything,
I want to share anything.
I'd meet you in hell
To feel your gaze penetrate
My eyes, my heart, my soul.
To taste the nectar of your kiss,
Your firm hands around my body,
Your fire inside me.

I'd go the distance,
I'd travel far,
Mentally, spiritually,
I'd give everything
For moments of joy
Beside your body.

You fueled a passion
That is now in embers,
You inspired timeless poems,
Your proud ideas and standards
Taught me discipline.

You awakened a desire
I cannot put to sleep,
With you or without you
I live our fantasies,
Practicing for our meeting.

I'd take any direction
If it meant meeting you,
But you don't need me
And I don't need you,
So we'll wait it out
Until we're lonely enough
To be rescued by someone else.

A.M

Within my heart...

Within a heart filled with love,
Within a boy misunderstood,
On the edge of adulthood,
On the path to unveiling a purpose,
I met you.

In between rights and wrongs,
In between art and wrongdoing,
In between passion and career,
I met you.

In between a friend inviting you,
In between champagne and beer,
In between me looking confused
And you being tall and handsome,
We met.

In between your seductive eyes,
And our ability to laugh,
In between me driving you home
And your hands meeting my thigh,
In between passionate kisses
And my hands pushing your hands away,
We met.

On the edge of insanity,
Swimming in an ocean of fire,
Out of breath,
Trying to surface for air,
To get burned again,
I left.

The ones we thought were better
Are now a fantasy we can live without,
We no longer desire their touch,
Though in a drunken night,
An ex-lover can be of service.

In between our lips meeting,
My heart met you,
In an exchange of light
I became addicted to feeling you.

Your touch ignites a flame,
A fire that consumes my heart,
My soul embraces you
And fuels a desire
That could swallow us whole.

You stirred passion,
You inspired my pen,
In a real way,
I learned to compromise,
I learned what it is to want to please,
To want make someone happy.

This undying desire to feel you,
This spring of loving feeling,
This peace I found because I loved,
This desire that won't give in.

This fantasy I want to realize,
Even if it hurts me,
I want to touch your skin,
Come close, hold me,
Lift my spirit.

With you I experienced the ups and downs,
The struggle of trying to hold on,
The understanding that taught me
To accept, to forgive, to give freedom.

With you I learned to write
For the broken-hearted,
The young hearts-disappointed,
The ones who fell into love
Believing it was perfect,
Never knowing perfection themselves.

With you is where my mind is,
It's where my body wants to be,
With your fiery body,
And your fierce attitude,
With you, only with you.

A.M

Running You Out

Under moon lit skies
Brilliant white diamonds
Fold into black clouds
I sit beneath the elegant moon
Perpetually veiling our eyes
With the help of the sun

With a lover by my side
And friends that come by
During the day or in the night
I make time to work
To run the pain out

Inside it's quite beautiful
I've build a nice place in my soul
It's even peaceful, I'm very grateful
I don't have to do anything
For anyone, at any time
At the expense of my soul

It's an ineffable freedom
That carries me from city to city
From country to country
From town to town

The beauty concentrated in your heart
Draws me closer
Lures me, carries me distances
Mentally, physically
Your beauty drives me

This art of loving
I'm having the pleasure of learning
Reassures the most vulnerable parts of my soul
Without it I am nothing
With it I am content with being nothing
And loving everything

For nourishment- In search of beauty I go
Never stopping, never quitting
My quest for physical freedom
My peaceful ideas
No pride, no ego, just love
Daring, fearless, passionate, I go

Beauty fulfills, it completes, It gives purpose
To existing and communicating
To loving and forgiving
To sharing and saving
To sacrificing for the ones we love

If you learned to use beauty as a drug
If you took a hit of it every time you were down
If you had a shot of it when you were upset
Uninspired
If you had a fix of beauty
Every time you felt unhappy
Life would be a different proposition

I run my heart out, I run the pain out
Under the moonlight
In the middle of the night
In my head or in a park
I run you out of my heart

Under the burning sun
Inside a crowded gym
In the streets of Philadelphia, I run
On Kelly Drive, Up and down Fairmount Park
I run you out of my heart
Skin sizzling, pores sweating, I run
Till what made me frown Makes me smile
Till the thought of you
Makes me break out in laughter

Till the endorphins feed the cravings
Till I feel you pulsing in my chest
Till I don't have to leave my house
To feel you
Till You becomes "we"
Till I'm content with running
And improving "me"
I run you out of my heart.

A.M

Reflection

You'll always find me
Exactly where I want to be,
You'll always see me
Fighting for what I believe.

You'll always catch me
Excusing myself to see you,
You'll always know me
As the one who won't quit.

Among the strong and stubborn,
I hold hands with the compassionate,
I walk with the supporting,
I welcome the sensitive.

Connected to the wild,
The weird, the free spirits,
The creeps, the hurt,
The wounded, the healing.

I spend my days learning
To do more than just talk,
To write as much as I think,
To educate my mind and body.

I train with warriors,
Who kill weakness,
Who bleed it out,
Breathe it out,
Sweat it out, love it out.

I wonder how much I'm worth,
How much I can get for a diamond soul.
How on earth can one know
If what they learned is enough.

I wonder if it matters,
How many houses you had,
How many cars you kept,
How many dollars you spent.

I wonder if I loved enough,
Men and women,
Did I give enough,
Without being asked?

Did I selfishly,
Blindly walk the streets
Looking for nothing
But my own satisfaction?

Could that be why I never found it?

You'll always find me
Exactly where I want to be,
You'll always see me
Fighting for what I believe.

You'll always catch me
Excusing myself to see you,
You'll always know me
As the one who won't quit you.

A.M

Can love lie?

Who are you whom I love?
Can love lie
How do I attain peace loving?
Why must I feel the anxiety of a thousand men?
The agony of a defeated army in my chest
The desperation of a million slaves
With no chance to escape
My hands and feet chained
To a heavy trunk of hope
Unable to move
My mind weary, eager to resolve
The purpose of a love foregone

Where are you my love?
What do you wait for?
Take the little life I have—it’s yours
The magic of my soul, I render to you
You asked what I demand
What I want, desire, expect from you
I want nothing you cannot give
And everything you are willing to share
I want your fierce heart, my God of war
Your noble soul, my Spartan warrior
Your caring hands touching my soft face
Your loving arms embracing my waist
I want your warm body wrapped around me
Fainting, melting, intertwining
I want your heart
No more, no less, than what I give returned

Who are you whom I love?
Why must it hurt so much?
The pain of a hundred blades
Cutting through my flesh
The longing of a thousand women
Crying for their dead children
Why must there be leaving?
Why can’t my heart lie?
Can there be a happier life
Without you by my side
Without your footsteps on my soul
Without your handprints on my body
I’m not the woman they love
I’m a ghost
Not sleeping, eating, feeling
Loving but one soul

Where are you my love?
My letters remain unanswered
My kind gestures ignored
My offerings refused, left untouched
To rot outside your door
Knocking hopelessly, awaiting a relief
For your sickness
Your birthright, your troubled fortune
Dooms us all who try to touch you
Who are you?
Can love lie
Why must you leave?
A love as pure as mine

Come away with me
We haven’t much time
God’s wrath falls upon us
Nature’s fury reaps cities
Our time together, destined but short
The clock began counting backwards
Only a couple years of loving
Before the clock strikes goodbye
Time is racing, the days are shorter
The nights are torture

Come to me, I stand still waiting
In the same cold place you left me
Without your warmth I am frozen
Come, ignite me with your light
Renew me with your touch
Rekindle the fire that is us
Take my hand, walk me through infinity
Accept love-give me the solace I long for
Come claim the beauty that is yours
Let me crown you King of my body
Ruler of my heart, Master of my soul

Where are you my love?

Can love lie?

Who are you whom I love?

A.M

To Be Love

To be love,
To have loved,
To have lost,
To have learned to be lonely.

To be loved,
To have love,
To be found,
To be faithful.

To be love,
To have joy,
To be guided,
To be sensible, compassionate.

To watch his heart reach passionately,
To feel his soul light up,
To know I'm not the one,
To feel helpless saying no.

To see young hearts in despair,
To watch fools fake relationships,
To be lost, To be helpless,
To seek love.

To breathe love,
To remain single,
To have seen too much to pretend,
To be free,
To have faith in dreams.

To be loved,
To live a life of choice and talent,
To be, To accept, To forgive.
To love, To fight, To live,
To love, To be loved
Compassionately.

A.M

Young Love

Your scent on my pillow,
Your kiss on my lips,
Oh, boy, so young and tender,
Your touch sweet and attentive,
Your embraces long and lasting,
Your promises sincere but unrealistic.

Your heart young and hopeless,
Willing to give me your life,
When I've given you nothing,
Oh, boy, young and proud,
Keep moving, take your scent,
Take your touch,
Take your sweet kisses,
Take it all away.

Daring, adventurous, boy friend,
Always telling me,
You miss me,
You want to see me,
Take me out to eat
Or eat me for dinner.

Sometimes I respond,
Sometimes I let it be,
I don't want to scar,
I don't want to break
Your porcelain heart,
Already sore with daddy issues.

Oh, young restless child,
In your love there is fear,
In your care there is worry,
You long to see me, to touch me,
While fearing my power
And the dangers of entanglement.

Always telling me you're coming,
When you're afraid of showing,
Face, feeling, vulnerability,
Always withholding your gifts,
From your friends and family.

Showing a superficial facade,
Decorated with tattoos
And a tender smile,
Hiding in a false reality,
Where you have to go to prison
To spend time with your father.

Your nature lacks responsibility,
You think you're a free spirit
But you're another poor soul,
Ashamed, rebellious,
Blaming yourself,
Wondering the streets
Without a father figure.

I have no room,
No room in my heart,
No space in my soul,
For your tenderness,
Your innocence,
I have no time,
No time to teach,
No patience for your fragile nature,
Your tattooed body, your stupidity,
Your impulsiveness, your carelessness.

Oh boy, young and scarred,
If I were you I wouldn't call,
I wouldn't come around,
Express how much you miss,
My mind, my body, my presence,
If I were you I'd stay away,
For that's the best you can do,
Before my soul adopts you,
Encloses you in my essence,
Stay away,
For both our sake.

A.M

Falling

Some people walk to the store and fall in love,
Some fall in love on the bus,
At work,
At the bar, at the club,
Some fall in love in their sleep,
Aspiring to become greater than,
Better than the self alone.

I fall in love on the train,
Reading Shakespeare,
Envisioning us as characters in a tragic play,
I fall in love at work,
Turn inwards,
Internalize you,
Introspective,
I focus on your beauty inside my soul.

My stoic expression causes them to ask,
"What's wrong, Amanda?"
I'm in love, fools,
I'm in longing, foolish humans,
I'm in love and can't be bothered.

I daydream at the gym,
Imagining your sweaty body next to me,
Running towards me,
Stretching next to me,
Lifting weights, I fall in love.

Love comes when you need it most,
To free you from the world,
To separate the ego from the soul,
Split feelings from blessings,
Flesh from light,
Memorization from experience.

Love offers you a chance to grow,
Blesses your spirit with freedom,
Freedom from judgment,
Misconceptions,
Spiritual diseases.

But many misinterpret,
Cheat it, use it,
Clinging to people and things.
Some go mad and blame love,
Trying to turn feelings into tangible things,
Emotions into promises,
Giving reason to spiritual sensations.

I write like I know
Because I'm blessed to see
Something you don't.
But if you ask me what I believe
I'll tell you I only believe in love.

For over and over I fall,
For you, for them, for everything,
I fall in love again and again,
For I cling to nothing
And give nothing but love.

And when you're alone
You reach for me,
You give me vanity,
Shallow pictures wrapped in fantasy.
And when I'm missing you
I give you what you ask,
And you stop and think
"What is it about this poetess
That makes me act so foolish?,
What is it about this woman
That makes me feel so stupid?"

But me, I'm beyond pondering,
Philosophizing, explaining my feelings,
I'm tired of over thinking and complaining.
I count the years on both hands,
And as each year passes I grow confident
I'll always love to fall in love with you,
Over and over, again and again,
I'll fall for the love I demand.

A.M

Walking Out

She walks out
He walks out
They walk out of the bar together

We share light
Hold hands in restaurants
Lay naked under the sun
We indulge in fun
Then walk out
Walk out of each other's life

We move on
Life goes on
And all that's left is light
All that's left are blessings
Gifts from the universe

All we are is light
There is only love
All we are is light
There is only love

We are only love
We travel through time
We allow a clock to tell us when to live
We hop in and out
In and out of each other's life

You walk out
Walk out of the bar
I pick you up
You get in my car
I take you home
But you won't let me love you

So I walk out
I walk out of your life
So you walk out
Walk me out of your heart

Time goes by
I open the door
You come running
Anxious to use me

We hop in
In and out
In and out of each other's life
We allow a clock to tell us when to live
Always walking away
In and out of each other's life

A.M

To My Boy Friends

Too many boys
I've lost my mind
I'll never think as a girl
Raised with boy cousins
I've taken beatings
I've thrown punches

But I can't keep away
I love my boys
They motivate
Inspire
A centered self
A stronger body
They shape me
Push me hard
To work harder

I can always be better
In the eyes of a boy
I can always win
I can be anything
In a man's mind
I'm a warrior
I'm here for a purpose

My lovely boys
Amazing spirits
I'm blessed
To be called a friend
To be one with them
It's important
Having boy friends
Opens perspective
Teaches
The opposing sex

My boys are sincere
They share wisdom
Or they share care
They show me
A new life
A new perspective
Of my own life
They pick me apart
They tell me my faults
They show me
The steps I have to take
To build the stair I need
To climb
To someone I'm happy with

Silly, playful, beautiful
They remind me
I'm not a guy in a girl's body
"Act like a lady",
"You behave with no morals"
When I burp in front of them
I tell them
"Your mother has no morals
For Having You"
And we laugh

I never cared to impress man
I don't look for boys
I don't search for men
They walk into my life
With common interests
My friends and I bond
We take care of each other
Well, they take care of me
Making sure I'm always happy

My boys are steal
No strangers may touch me
And cruel intentions are deadly
They will attack
My boys don't play
They guard me
Protect me
Many times I've been saved

And when they lie
It's superficial
And it's usually to protect me
My boys are all different
Unique spirits
Individual lives
Same male energy
Always ready to fight

I love my boys
I love my girls
But this is for you, guys

A.M

Angelic Dreams

We all wish we were angels, don't we? But I'm just a simple messenger, a seer of beautiful things. If angels walked the earth life would be a different proposition, a site to see, the streets filled with artists playing and singing and writing and drawing and painting and dancing. And the people would be so happy, there would be abundance of all needs, no one would be starved of food or affection, violence would not be necessary. Artists need to serve their purpose, to understand the beauty of their gift, to realize the importance of their work, to use the power of creation with love and compassion to promote awareness.

A.M