Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Loving On The Run

Loving on the run

It was long ago but I remember
I had love, a heart to call my own
There were fights, struggles
But at the end of the day, in his embrace there was peace
with the knowledge that someone out there believed in me blindly
No matter how insecure I become I knew I could count on my beloved to save me,
strengthen me, comfort me, defend, protect me
Somewhere down the road I decided to give that up
No more safety blanket, no more secure heart
I lean on me, break my own fall
I get my loving on the run, when I get some
I want to grow in heart, my ability to care, love, understand
Support the ones I love without expectations
I want a clear vision
I’ve loved the wrong people and the wrong people have loved me
My reason for allowing a commitment were insufficient
And my obsession with getting them to love me has brought me much pain and suffering
I’ve hurt and confused, as much as I been hurt and confused
From now on, I want to live without strings
To give, to love, without labels
To selflessly care for those who need me
To be a strong link, able to love and care for those in need of blind compassion
Without the need of ego gratification
with the simple desire to be a part of something bigger than me
I don’t want to live alone
Love alone , conquer fears alone
Attain my desires alone
I want to live and share my heart with everyone
My body is a tool I’ll use to accomplish my soul’s desires
A healthy heart will allow me to walk the path to my dreams
A fit body will carry my heart through the paths that my mind chooses
So I must keep a healthy mind, clear of negative thoughts for a bright future
For darkness brings not light but blindness
The things I want are in the future
They are new and made of something I never had
Therefore I cannot expect to attain these things If I insist on bringing dreams of the past with me
For the dreams of the past have already been carried out, If not by you then by others
We cannot carry the past into the future, change or recreate it as it once was
I must create new dreams and realize them
I do not carry my mistakes into my future , I carry an understanding of the result of my past actions
I allow myself to change direction, To grow in new ways, To desire new things, new shapes
I allow myself to want more and need less, To care and be cared for, To love and expect nothing in return
I want a clearer vision of the world, An honest view of my heart and my part in life
Real feelings without superficial reason, Passion without ulterior motives
I want to feel everything with love, with the understanding that I am in control of my feelings,
my heart, my emotions
I do not need to recreate happy moments
I want to experience happy actions and reactions
I want to learn the art of feeling good
The art of making life good
I don’t want to feel as good as before but better
For it can be limiting to wish a past condition or a new version of it
Just a thought

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