Avenger

The mirror tells me my eyes are green
Either the sun is shining in
Or I'm tearing because
I'm thinking of you

I've buried myself
Underneath my intellect
Behind my poetry
Within my books

I hid my love for you
Inside old poems
In empty futures
In places I'll never go

I've caged you
In tears that come out through sobs
In screams that escape my fingers
When I place my hand over my face
To cover the desperate cry of despair

Of longing, of shame
For wanting you
They tell me, is a disgrace

I float alone in my life boat
As I attempt to grow courage to jump
To fall into the whirlpool that surrounds me
Spinning me in circles, keeping me in distress

I run from your end
Attempting to arrive at an end
Where I can share my heart again
With a soul who doesn't cut me down

You burry yourself in the crowds
You hide in front of the lights
You cage your heart with alcohol
You float from bed to bed
Creating a means to an end

But I have no crowd to run to
No lights desiring my presence
And the water I drink doesn't numb anything
But I can't blame my pain on your ignorance
I can't ask you to save me from this vengeance
I've taken upon myself

A.M