Tuesday, September 13, 2011

STILL

Still

She`s 4-
Disheartened, begging her mom not to go.
He`s 8-
Misguided, beating up brats in the playground.

She`s 9-
Sheltered, wishing she could play with others.
He`s 12-
Resentful, mourning the death of his father.

She`s 13-
Neurotic, chasing boys who don`t like her.
He`s 15-
Degenerate, drawn to drinking and gambling.

She`s 17-
Vain, pursuing ideals, seeking an identity.
He`s 19-
Insecure, classified by what he doesn`t own.

She`s 20-
Introspective, recording thoughts, quoting philosophy.
He`s 22-
Detached, getting what he can from a one night stand.

She`s 23-
Spontaneous, in love, invested in her passion.
He`s 25-
Green, passing out drunk in a friend`s apartment.

She`s 26-
Deluded, spending more time in dreams than in reality.
He`s 28-
Unaware, sailing blindly through a sea of relationships.

She`s a brokenhearted recluse.
He`s a bitter fool.
She begs him not to go
And he beats himself up.

Still

A.M
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9 comments:

  1. Michael ColemanSeptember 13, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    Love it :)

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  2. Amanda MirandaSeptember 13, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    Thank you, Michael, so glad you liked it.

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  3. Maxmillian HenckeSeptember 14, 2011 at 9:58 AM

    Great poem, Amanda! :)

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  4. Amanda MirandaSeptember 14, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    Thanks, Max, some people seem to be lost in its simplicity.

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  5. Preeti S.September 27, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    Beautifully penned. The structure is unique and impressive, adds to the overall effect of the poem on the reader. Your words spill out the reality in a simple yet stark manner. Well done. Loved it.

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  6. Amanda MirandaSeptember 29, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Thank you, I appreciate your comment. I'm glad you get it.

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  7. AnonymousOctober 22, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    I am really impressed! A life story within one poem! You are such a skilled poet, Amanda! Who is that girl you wrote about? Is it a lifestory of a person you know?

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  8. Amanda MirandaOctober 23, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    Thanks, I appreciate your feedback. There are parts of me in the poem and parts of someone I know.

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  9. Silencio BarnesNovember 12, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    I wanted to write a poem almost exactly like this one (I probably still will, since I thought I was being incredibly clever when I thought it up:). Ya beat me to it though. Also, you probably did it better than I could have :P And judging by the date, you had this over and done with before it was even an idea in my head :)) Cheers...as they say. One

    ReplyDelete

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