Tuesday, September 13, 2011



She`s 4-
Disheartened, begging her mom not to go.
He`s 8-
Misguided, beating up brats in the playground.

She`s 9-
Sheltered, wishing she could play with others.
He`s 12-
Resentful, mourning the death of his father.

She`s 13-
Neurotic, chasing boys who don`t like her.
He`s 15-
Degenerate, drawn to drinking and gambling.

She`s 17-
Vain, pursuing ideals, seeking an identity.
He`s 19-
Insecure, classified by what he doesn`t own.

She`s 20-
Introspective, recording thoughts, quoting philosophy.
He`s 22-
Detached, getting what he can from a one night stand.

She`s 23-
Spontaneous, in love, invested in her passion.
He`s 25-
Green, passing out drunk in a friend`s apartment.

She`s 26-
Deluded, spending more time in dreams than in reality.
He`s 28-
Unaware, sailing blindly through a sea of relationships.

She`s a brokenhearted recluse.
He`s a bitter fool.
She begs him not to go
And he beats himself up.




  1. Thank you, Michael, so glad you liked it.

  2. Thanks, Max, some people seem to be lost in its simplicity.

  3. Beautifully penned. The structure is unique and impressive, adds to the overall effect of the poem on the reader. Your words spill out the reality in a simple yet stark manner. Well done. Loved it.

  4. Thank you, I appreciate your comment. I'm glad you get it.

  5. I am really impressed! A life story within one poem! You are such a skilled poet, Amanda! Who is that girl you wrote about? Is it a lifestory of a person you know?

  6. Thanks, I appreciate your feedback. There are parts of me in the poem and parts of someone I know.

  7. I wanted to write a poem almost exactly like this one (I probably still will, since I thought I was being incredibly clever when I thought it up:). Ya beat me to it though. Also, you probably did it better than I could have :P And judging by the date, you had this over and done with before it was even an idea in my head :)) Cheers...as they say. One


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