Beneath the Surface-
There`s a cell seeking growth.
There`s a wound that won`t close.
There`s a room with no door.
There`s a sickness with no hope.
Beneath the Surface-
There`s a box of unopened gifts.
There`s a case of reserved emotion.
There`s someone locked away.
There`s men waiting to be saved.
Beneath the Surface-
There`s the rage you cultivate.
There`s the sadness you cage.
There`s the pain you inflict.
There`s the hate you create.
Beneath the Surface-
There`s a heart to be played with.
There`s a dormant desire to awaken.
There`s a hidden prejudice to kill.
There`s a concealed passion to unveil.
Beneath the Surface-
There`s longing to be fulfilled.
There`s beauty to be shown.
There`s talent to be used.
There`s truth to be known.
Beneath the Surface-
There`s freedom to be claimed.
There`s love to be shared.
There`s compassion to be given.
There`s forgiveness to be learned.
Beneath The Surface
There’s a world unknown.
A.M
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Brilliant, without a doubt. The repetitive structure is remarkable as it incorporates all the aspects of a human self which are rarely shown. The hidden side of each one of us beautifully penned. Very well written. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback! I appreciate your kind words. I'm glad you understand the message.
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem. "There's a world unknown" is such a nice ending! Another option: "It's all there. You need to find what you are looking for."
ReplyDeleteWow, very nice. So much detail. I would not change a thing but as you asked for ideas I would say "a world ignored". Reason being we all know and see the things that need attention or action but choose to ignore. Congrats for great work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback, Prem, I like your idea, will consider it. I`m glad you enjoyed the poem!
ReplyDeleteThank you, getyourselfconnected, I appreciate your ideas, makes a lot of sense and flows with the poem.
ReplyDeleteI like how you start out with the metaphor of a "cell seeking growth"... what a way to simplify the idea of desire and potential and put it into perspective. Life is full of desire, isn't it? Right down to our very cells. I also like how you address the topic of "all that could have been", or rather, "all that is waiting to be."
ReplyDeleteI love your comments, Brandon, always so specific. Yes, that`s what I mean by "Cell seeking growth". The implications of "All that is waiting to be" suggests a romance, with life and ourselves. I liked how you depicted it.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, the true "me" lies beneath the surface. Thanks for bringing to light that which is hidden, yet crying out to be known.
ReplyDelete