To make you feel ashamed,
To swear its for the best.
She told me it was weakness
To feel so much on any occasion;
To easily change heart,
To quickly detach from what revolts,
To easily give up on what doesn't serve.
My friends would think I stopped loving them.
She told me I was ungrateful,
To easily doom negative words
and the mouths they came out of.
She said my aloofness was selfish,
For I always took the road less traveled;
To watch monkeys jumping from tree to tree,
To smell the fresh air of unpaved roads,
To walk to the ocean and smell eucalyptus along a dirt road.
I was bored when listening to society,
Nauseous of hearing the same problems,
My tongue was tired of repeating the same things.
But I never neglected the big avenues,
And I became an excellent listener
To the point of pointing hearts to love.
I force myself to do things I love but do not understand,
and I don't do things I understand but do not love.
But that's not what baffles me the most,
For what is most amusing is that
In all of the ways that I evolved
There were aspects that remained exactly the same.
This epiphany gave me visions of myself
as a foggy diamond being polished.
I understand what causes pain,
And still, I love everyone in our family,
I think that's a miracle on its own.
I think it's magic, the mysteriousness of how I came to be here.
I tell them I want to feel, they call that crazy,
To feel to the point where you see images,
To breathe in your lover, to feel them inside
Playing your heart strings, fiddling your nerves,
igniting their soul with your light, feeding on your life force,
opening their bloodstream for you to swim in.
Merging hearts, intertwining souls,
Sharing beauty, appreciating your beloved
In a way that fills your soul with sparkling glitter.
I love to feel, I like seeing the edge, I like being extreme,
I enjoy having the option to jump, to float, to fly, to dream,
to come, to go, to leave. I like standing near high cliffs,
it's the only way to see infinity, to feel,
to let go of imaginary control because of illusionary fear.
I'm only afraid of what my lover might do to my spirit
when he rushes into my soul in full speed and bursts my doors open.
For I don't like cleaning messes, but I love making them.
A.M
