Gone Before You

You found me broken, sad
You love me dearly, mad
I can`t, I won`t, I`m gone
You can, you did, you will
Hold on till you`re out of fuel

I`m heartless when you`re sad
I tell you I`m just heart-full
Too full for you to fit into
You call me cruel
I wish I could stop your tears
And the feeling that pours with it

This time you cry alone
I cried my tears long ago
For a boy whose heart was full
Who couldn`t and wouldn`t
I called him heartless too
Labeled him as cruel

I can`t stop the pain
This I tried before
You can`t stop the rain
For you love me so
You`re keen to me
But I`ve been gone
Long before you

My love is broken, sad
Your love is selfless, mad
I can`t, I won`t, I`m gone
You can, you did, you will
Hold on till you`re out fuel

You say I`m in your heart
But I`m far away from love
I can`t, I won`t, I`m gone
You can, you did, you will
Hold on till you're out of fuel

This time you cry alone
I cried my tears long ago
For that boy you know
The one who filled me so
I`ve been out of fuel
Gone before you

A.M

Reaching And Falling

Men reach and fall, they reach and they fall.

I’ve always felt the kingdom inside me,
imprinted in my soul,
memories of living in a citadel with ionic columns
and black and white marble flooring.
I`ve worn laurel leaf crowns, ridden golden chariots,
had flower petals thrown on me upon my arrival.
I've sat in a throne of jewels, slept in a bed of mink.
I’ve bathed in a pool of roses and swam in a private beach.
I’ve fetched gems in the ocean and made necklaces for my king.

I’ve seen poor men grow rich and I’ve watched rich men die poor.
I’ve seen ambitious men lose their souls for a few pounds of gold.
I’ve seen murderous men granted second chances.
I’ve seen the devil reward the wicked
for bringing misery upon the innocent.
I`ve watched men rise and fall, rise and fall again.

Men have a way of falling for those who fight them.
They have a way of loving those who don’t love back.
Men have a way of leaving devotion, affection, freedom.
They have a way of breaking their own hearts for vanity.
Men have a way of running all the way back to their fears.
They have a way of surrendering to their worst enemy.

I’ve seen a million hearts break for unrequited love.
I`ve seen a million slaughtered bodies for one man`s glory.
I`ve seen a million souls die for one man`s greed.
I’ve seen a million lives destroyed for a drug addict`s luxury.
I’ve seen a million leaders
pocket the blood and sweat of their people.
I`ve seen a million wars fought for hate, for power, for fortune.
I`ve seen a million greedy men bring recession upon nations.

I’ve fled burning cities, traveled by foot and by ship,
took refuge in the barren desert, watched fresh blood mix with sand.
I`ve seen innocent men crucified for their beliefs,
seen their bodies nailed to crosses then stoned to death.
I`ve smelled burning bodies in blazing ditches
and watched flesh turn to ash.
I’ve seen a thousand ships get swallowed by Poseidon,
loaded with treasure, weapons, babies, mothers and fathers.
I’ve seen a thousand wives mourn dead warriors,
heard their screams and cries and quiet suicides.
I’ve seen a thousand mothers lose sons and never recover,
then drown in the sea overcome by grief.

I`ve had my heart break a million times and over again.
I`ve loved the good in man who did not see love in me.
I`ve been swayed by bad chi, wooed by lustful vanity.
I`ve been cheated by loathsome voracity, used by shallow creeps.
I deceived death with a kiss, resigned complete happiness,
left a good man at the altar, ran to the end of my dreams,
married death and misery.

I`ve watched myself reach and fall, reach and fall again.
As a princess, as a queen, as a slave, as a captive,
as a poet, as a writer.
I’ve suffered the same, I`ve felt equal pain.
I`ve had every sin committed against me.
I`ve been injured, robbed, deceived,
I`ve been cheated, hated, envied.
I`ve been prideful, I’ve been greedy,
I`ve lusted, coveted, betrayed.
I`ve committed every sin.
On my knees in prayer I repented.

I got off my horse and began to walk.
I parted from the riders who pushed right on.
Aimlessly I wandered looking for a place of my own.
I searched, I asked around, but no one seemed to know.
I thought I reached a safe place but soon found out
I could not build a kingdom of conscience with a purposeless heart.

To reach for a free soul I forfeited my tiara.
To reach for my laurels I surrendered power.
I was born again, naked, bold with no desire for gold,
rich with creative power.
I stripped myself of vain pursuits to fulfill a conscious duty-
to learn, to observe, to record the reaching and falling of men.

Patiently I watch as history repeats itself.
From a detached perspective I see men drown
but dare not help them out.
From behind my gated heart I try to understand-
bankrupt nations borrowing their way out of debt,
impoverished people rioting against elected leaders,
malnourished souls sitting on the key to freedom`s door.

I see men who want change but refuse to change themselves.
As fear continues to drive men to destroy one another,
they take ten steps back and one step forward.
We will never end war if only half of us love.
With enough nuclear power to destroy the world ten times over
we continue to reach and fall,
until the universe wipes us out for a new start.

In my throne of solitude I am the queen of air.
In my sanctuary of peace I live for one desire, one purpose only—
To create, to achieve immortality.

A.M